One mom in my group call last night who has two young teen boys said “Technology is the only thing we fight about. And we’re fighting about it all the time!” Parents of teens today are dealing with what feels like an immersion in a foreign tech-based world, and figuring out how to parent teens in this strange land feels very difficult to many.

Why is this difficult for many parents? There are many reasons… not the least of which is many of today’s parents are intimidated by technology and feeling behind the curve. It can be overwhelming to view the tsunami of tech toys one doesn’t know how to use, to deal with the incessant onslaught of information that makes you feel constantly behind, and try to promote and teach balance to a tech-addicted teen. Nothing about this is particularly easy on the surface… but when you dig down you’ll see that the basics of good parenting apply here, and a sense of overwhelm, intimidation and fear can work against you.

Anne Collier provides some of the most intelligent and balanced advice for parents. She runs NetFamilyNews.org – “Kid-tech news for parents,” insightful and smart commentary for us all. She says parents’ fear of technology, or fear of their kids’ use of it is what creates problems. “Fear is bad. Fear increases risk.” When parents are living in fear it shuts down communication… and that is when kids will go into “stealth mode” where they can be at greater risk.

Your attitude matters a lot, and I recommend you begin by becoming more informed. One of the best ways to do this is to view the 90 minute PBS special Digital Nation. It is extremely well done and worth your time. Over the next few weeks I will continue to refer to the thought-provoking commentary and share video snippits from this program in the hopes that it will inform your actions and attitudes and generate helpful discussion here.

The video below is a clip from the “Relationships” area of Digital Nation website with sensible, helpful – and non-intimidating advice for parents. One of the things that strikes me about Anne Collier’s comments in the video is her sensible and reasonable approach – the same attitude and approach that will benefit parents. She says we must apply the same good parenting principles that we apply in everyday life to our kids’ online life. We don’t just abandon our kids at the internet door.

Don’t be fearful; don’t allow yourself to be intimidated. Reframe your approach and let your curiousity and open mind guide you.
I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts.

Anne Collier video:

Last week the Kaiser Family Foundation released data that seemed to shock adults, stating that kids 8 – 18 spend more than 7 1/2 hours plugged in to entertainment media daily. It is interesting to consider this figure while looking at another report that polled parents on the role of technology in education, which puts a different perspective on this subject entirely. And it indicates that parents value technology and want their kids to engage with it in the classroom. [Should we dig in to the distinction between technology used for "entertainment" vs for educational purposes? I think not... it's the same technology and with everyone multi-tasking it seems a bit like splitting hairs. Well, maybe it's not "splitting hairs' if you are trying to get your son to complete his homework, but for this discussion it is!]

Learning in the 21st Century: Parents’ Perspectives, Parents’ Priorities, was released by Blackboard K-12 and Project Tomorrow in March 2009. Data was collected from more than 21,000 parents of K-12 students, 218,000 students and over 3100 administrators across a broad socio-economic spectrum. In this report, parents, educators and students make it very clear that more technology is better, and 80% of parents in this broad-based study think that students are not spending enough time using technology in education. Only one third of parents responding in the survey felt their child’s school was doing a good job of preparing students for the 21st century. They feel schools need to do a better job integrating technology throughout the learning environment. Complaints range from schools not placing the right emphasis on technology to unacceptable quality of hardware and software. Only one third of parents feel that teachers’ skills in using technology are acceptable.

How are your teens using technology in school? Have them show you what they are learning and how technology is playing a role in their education. Make sure you go to the open house at school and are aware of the way technology is being used at the school. It’s changing quickly and parents need to invest time to understand the value and implications of how your teen’s education is evolving with the times.

Mobile technology opens new doors: The study highlights rather different values and priorities between students and parents in regard to mobile devices. While there is some agreement that mobile technology devices (smart phones, PDAs and MP3 players etc.) can help a child’s education by improving communication, preparing students for the world of work and helping to increase student engagement, students place a much higher value on its utilization than parents. Students express a desire to be untethered from the classroom, wanting to be “free agent learners”, in control of their own education. They see mobile technology as bringing them the opportunity to get beyond the school walls, to engage in experiential, collaborative and participatory learning. Indeed, these are some of the big buzz words in education today, and this kind of learning is infinitely more possible now precisely because of mobile devices, applications and tools.

At this time parents typically use mobile devices less than their kids do, and the writers of the study expect that as parents’ use of such devices increase they will more fully see the potential of this technology as having a positive impact on students and learning. What may not be obvious to you now is likely to become more clear when you gain familiarity with what mobile devices can do for you. When you do, you can see new possibilities and understand better what your kids are experiencing.

If it makes you feel better, I too, am new with these devices. I took the plunge by getting an i-phone at Christmastime, and I’ll tell you honestly – I LOVE it! I’m amazed at the apps that are available to me – and many of them truly do make my life easier! And the only way I can really appreciate how communication and education are changing with these devices is to immerse myself. While it takes precious time, it’s time well spent – especially if you are raising teenagers.

*over 21,000 parents responded to this national survey

Even though parents are sometimes struggling to catch up with their kids’ use of technology, parents do value its use as a vital part of education. There is a PBS special titled Digital Nation coming up Tuesday, February 2 that will discuss parenting in the digital age, and will touch upon many of the topics I know parents are concerned about. The accompanying website Digital Workshops: Online Resources for Parents and Educators that takes the PBS special one step further with interactive surveys, resources and more. Renee Hobbs at Temple University’s Media Education Lab has once again developed an outstanding, informative and insightful resource for parents of teenagers.

Technology in education is one topic area that is a hot item for parents. If you are curious about its importance in your teen’s education, or unclear about how computers are used in the classroom, this video (from the PBS special) spells out the impact it has made in a middle school in a tough inner city neighborhood. The principal says “technology is like oxygen” to his students and by making it available he has turned his school around by almost every measure.

Be sure to watch the PBS special and view the resources at the website… it’s vitally important information for parenting kids in the digital age.

Parents of younger teens are sometimes wondering how to provide the safe online activities that will teach and entertain kids, while giving them reliable protection. NewMoonGirls.com is one such online community; specifically created for girls ages 8 – 12 this unique site offers ad-free, healthy and positive content and encourages tween girls to share their creativity through artwork, poetry, videos etc. Two of their major areas of focus are to build self- esteem in girls and to promote a healthy body image. Membership to this site and community can make a memorable, enjoyable and educational holiday gift.

To share their words: “New Moon Girls is an online community and print magazine where girls create and share poetry, artwork, videos, and more; chat together; and learn. All in a fully moderated, educational environment designed to build self-esteem and positive body image. Membership is just $29.95 for 12 months unlimited online access + 6 bimonthly issues of New Moon Girls print magazine.”

When you visit their website, you’ll know you’ve found a special place. Inviting, colorful and inspirational, they do a first-class job in appealing to your tween daughters, nieces and friends. Here’s just one small section from their home page; you can easily tell these good folks take what they do seriously.

www.NewMoon.com

Here’s a sample copy of their November/December magazine.

This is a terrific holiday gift idea for the tweens and young teen girls on your list. Don’t wait. www.NewMoon.com

I hear many parents of teenagers express concern about their teens’ over-use of cellphones, computers etc. to communicate with their friends. Parents say “I’m worried our kids are not developing skills for inter-personal communication. They spend too much time texting and IM’ing and writing on Facebook…”

Yes, but. New research says not to worry. The technological tools that enable us to connect with one another online, are helping us to increase our personal, in-the-flesh connections too.

I have huge empathy for the parents of teenagers who are struggling to understand, use and embrace these new forms of communication. I spend every day trying to figure it all out myself! And for me, not being a digital native, this does not come naturally. But we have a choice; we can be like my older brother who says “hell will freeze over before I join Facebook” or we can go with the flow and invest some time in learning about the new world. The train has left the station, the question is are you on board?

If you are currently parenting teens, I think your choice is obvious. If you don’t figure out how to play this game, your kids will leave you behind. And you won’t be in a position to support, guide or help them… and the fact is, they need you.

Here’s a quote from Trendwatching.com in their December report. One of the major trends they identify is what they call “Mass Mingling.” (It’s #5 here. )

“More people than ever will be living large parts of their lives online in 2010. Yet, those same people will also mingle, meet up, and congregate more often with other ‘warm bodies’ in the offline world.
In fact, social media and mobile communications are fueling a MASS MINGLING that defies virtually every cliché about diminished human interaction in our ‘online era’.

Basically, the more people can get their hands on the right info, at home and on the go; the more they date and network and twitter and socialize online, the more likely they are to eventually meet up with friends and followers in the real world. Why? Because people actually enjoy interacting with other warm bodies, and will do so forever.”

Jeff Bennett is a respected leader in the internet world,  Founder and COO of NameMedia, Inc.,  and a caring Dad. After several interesting discussions about the important role of digital media in children’s education today, I asked him if he would write a guest post which he kindly provided below. Thanks, Jeff.

We live in an era of rapid technological advancement for computing power, storage capacity, application development, proliferation of wireless networking, digitizing and indexing of what appears to be all information, and so much more.  All of these developments are bringing the cost of computing down.  These developments are enabling the advancement of complex research never possible before.  These developments are altering how we consume and process information for our work, education and entertainment.  These developments are also providing the largest interconnection of the human race since civilization began.  Pretty interesting times we are living in.

There is much to contemplate on how these developments will change society.  I think that the outcome to this question will be dependent on how we as a people “deploy” and “leverage” these advancements.   You can not turn back the hands of time and not accept that all of this is going on.  We must take an activist approach to understanding what is happening and how can we utilize these advancements in our lives.  We must manage this process or it will overwhelm us.

An area that I believe stands to be a huge beneficiary of these advancements is education.  I believe in a traditional curriculum that provides focus on the mastery of reading, writing and ‘rithmatic.  I also believe that these basics must be augmented with exposure and participation in the arts, sciences and athletics to build “well rounded” people.  This has always been the case but I feel it is even more important today.  We are citizens of an interdependent country and world.  This is where I believe technology can really play an important role in education.

There are three distinct areas that I belive technology can really advance education:

1.  Research and access to information. This is the core of all education.  I remember all those long days/nights at libraries searching for information for projects.  I remember my first view into Microsoft’s Encarta that brought the encyclopedia to the desktop with all sorts of graphics, video and links.  Look at what we have today with Google, YouTube, Wikipedia and the millions of web sites that publish and share content.  Sitting down at a computer connected to the web today gives the student access to some of the deepest libraries known to man.  It can be overwhelming…but rather than be overcome by this we need to embrace the tools that will help us manage the access to all of this information.  Can we turn our children loose on this?  No we need to teach what sites to go to, impose controls on the computer and get involved in this process.  The opportunity is limitless though.

2. Use of interactive tools to broaden learning. All of this information gives the teacher an opportunity to broaden the content used in the classroom.  The advancement of technology also offers many new tools for delivering the information and allowing the students to connect/touch/interact with the information.  This comes in many forms like smart boards, multimedia lectures/lessons, video demonstrations and so much more.  This past school year was challenging in the Northeast due to weather then the flu.  In my sons school he had teachers that were using their Macs to create video lessons/demos that the students could then access via the Internet/email.  There is so much opportunity for the use of interactive tools to broaden learning.

3. Connecting to the broader community through collaboration. My generation and my elders have broadly adopted email.  The generations that follow have adopted instant messaging and text messaging widely.  Most of these tools enable one-to-one communication for the most part.  Now we have Twitter which takes the simple 140-character messaging and allows the user to broadcast to their community of friends.   There have also been collaboration tools like Lotus Notes, Intranets and now “Wikis” that allow broad collaboration and communication for communities.  This is another key area for the advancement of education – to enable connection and collaboration with teachers, fellow classmates, researchers and students around the world.  I witnessed the power of a class using Twitter this past school year – it was a glimpse of the power of this kind of communication for learning.  Some of my parent colleagues were upset at the use of this technology.  We celebrate the innovation, creativity and groundbreaking work that these teachers demonstrated.  I hope to see more and more of this in the school year ahead.

These technology advancements are happening.  The tools are available.  Children are coming online in droves through Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Text messaging.  The younger generations are more open to sharing information about themselves and open communication.  This can be good…but only if there is an awareness of “what” to share, “how” to share, and “how” to leverage the massive opportunities available.  Should we as parents embrace this or put our heads in the sand thinking that this will stop?  It can be stressful to work to get involved and then keep up.  Turning your head to avoid the stress is no solution.  I believe it is best to embrace these opportunities.  Work and interact with our children to understand what is available.  We will all learn ourselves.  I commend the teachers that are leveraging technology to advance education…and teaching children the right ways to establish their profiles and communicate.