With 400 million+ users, Facebook is a social force unlike anything parents have faced before. And parents have a vital role to play in providing guidance to your teenager as s/he plays on this digital playground….whether you feel comfortable or not on Facebook. Your “digital footprint” refers to all your interactions, information and transactions that take place in cyberspace. You’ve surely heard the horror stories about college admissions offers, employers etc. seeing things on the internet that reflect poorly on young people… so clearly teenagers need guidance. And who will they look to for this guidance? It better be you. Who else has their long term best interest in mind? BUT, if you feel Facebook is overwhelming, you are not alone. And even if you are relatively comfortable on Facebook, it is daunting the way it changes so frequently.

I’m happy to tell you that help is here! Facebook Guide for Parents* is an up-to-date, in-depth, hands-on tool that will be a life-saver for you as you try to guide your teen on Facebook so that s/he is properly safeguarded. There are good reasons why you need the help offered in this guide…
Here are just some of areas to consider while guiding your child on Facebook:

The Facebook Guide for Parents comes in several contemporary formats – downloadable and in hardcopy – that guide you as you walk through the profile, settings and activities one by one so you can understand the impact of the choices you and your teenager make. It is a step-by-step instruction manual that is accompanied by 12 short (5 minutes or less) video tutorials to visually guide you. In addition to providing guidance on the ins-and-outs of the privacy settings, the authors provide instruction on the basics:

Facebook Guide for Parents is developed by the five social media experts who run Supreme Social Media. Calling themselves “the Supremes” these media savvy women are mothers, aunts, sisters… and they saw a big disconnect between what kids are doing online and what their parents know about that. The only way a parent can guide a child intelligently on Facebook is to be present there… and many parents are somewhere between woefully behind and somewhat confused. This guide will get you where you want to go… and keep you up to date as things change.

Some of you may be aware that late in April (2010) Facebook implemented some innocuous-looking changes that some critics feel may not be so benign after all. Many industry watchers are closely monitoring what Facebook calls “the open graph,” and its implications on our online privacy now and in the future. As Facebook links applications with personal profiles, one’s digital footprint expands in ways far beyond what is obvious. As Facebook changes its product and details, those who own a copy of Facebook Guide for Parents will receive access to updates for an entire year. What that means is the Supreme Socials will help you stay on top of your Facebook experience as things change, and will inform you so that you can be sure you and your teen are making good choices for your – and his/her – digital footprint.

[PS: In a meeting earlier this week with fellow business owners, I noticed a high degree of confusion in some of the basics in Facebook and other social networks. Truthfully, Facebook Guide for Parents will help you even if your primary focus isn't on your teenager. The Supremes have put together a really useful tool. And if your focus is on using Facebook for business, you should check out some of their other offerings.]

*I have done something I’ve never done before and must disclose it to you. I am so impressed with this product, and think it is so important for parents, I have become an affiliate sales agent for this product.

Communication has fundamentally changed – as parents of teenagers know too well! On this blog I talk a lot about how parents must be current in your knowledge of the way your teens are communicating, sharing information and learning. And yet I appreciate, being from your generation myself, that the paradigm shifts that are occurring can be confusing and even intimidating. So, when I saw this video I was excited. Not only is the actual story it tells fascinating, but more importantly, it serves as an excellent example of the way the social web expands connections, collaboration and possibilities. This is the social web. This is a sea change. This is big. And this is your teenager’s world.

Parents of teens: Please take our survey: With the changes in communications and technology forever altering our landscape, parents of teenagers have new ways to stay in touch with family, new ways to gather information about parenting, and new technologies you need to  become comfortable using. We are conducting a survey to learn more about parents of teens, your needs and preferences; this will guide us in our work. Will you please take 10 minutes to complete this online survey? Your input is vitally important and will help parents all over the country. Your participation is completely confidential.

Click here to take survey

Please help disseminate the survey: If you serve on a community board, school PTO or other group and can share this opportunity with other parents of teenagers in a newsletter, listserv or on a website, we will be very grateful! And to say “thank you” to you we will share the resulting report with you if you want it.

To share this survey on a website, simply copy the link above. To send this out in a newsletter or email, copy this link to the survey:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/TeensTechnologyParenting

Either way, send us a copy of your promotion of the survey and let us know you want to see the report so we can send it to you when it is completed.

Don’t wait! We plan to close the survey on April 8.

Thank you!
Sue Blaney, President, ChangeWorks Publishing
Shelly D. Mahon, Ph.D. Candidate, University of Wisconsin-Madison

One mom in my group call last night who has two young teen boys said “Technology is the only thing we fight about. And we’re fighting about it all the time!” Parents of teens today are dealing with what feels like an immersion in a foreign tech-based world, and figuring out how to parent teens in this strange land feels very difficult to many.

Why is this difficult for many parents? There are many reasons… not the least of which is many of today’s parents are intimidated by technology and feeling behind the curve. It can be overwhelming to view the tsunami of tech toys one doesn’t know how to use, to deal with the incessant onslaught of information that makes you feel constantly behind, and try to promote and teach balance to a tech-addicted teen. Nothing about this is particularly easy on the surface… but when you dig down you’ll see that the basics of good parenting apply here, and a sense of overwhelm, intimidation and fear can work against you.

Anne Collier provides some of the most intelligent and balanced advice for parents. She runs NetFamilyNews.org – “Kid-tech news for parents,” insightful and smart commentary for us all. She says parents’ fear of technology, or fear of their kids’ use of it is what creates problems. “Fear is bad. Fear increases risk.” When parents are living in fear it shuts down communication… and that is when kids will go into “stealth mode” where they can be at greater risk.

Your attitude matters a lot, and I recommend you begin by becoming more informed. One of the best ways to do this is to view the 90 minute PBS special Digital Nation. It is extremely well done and worth your time. Over the next few weeks I will continue to refer to the thought-provoking commentary and share video snippits from this program in the hopes that it will inform your actions and attitudes and generate helpful discussion here.

The video below is a clip from the “Relationships” area of Digital Nation website with sensible, helpful – and non-intimidating advice for parents. One of the things that strikes me about Anne Collier’s comments in the video is her sensible and reasonable approach – the same attitude and approach that will benefit parents. She says we must apply the same good parenting principles that we apply in everyday life to our kids’ online life. We don’t just abandon our kids at the internet door.

Don’t be fearful; don’t allow yourself to be intimidated. Reframe your approach and let your curiousity and open mind guide you.
I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts.

Anne Collier video:

Last week the Kaiser Family Foundation released data that seemed to shock adults, stating that kids 8 – 18 spend more than 7 1/2 hours plugged in to entertainment media daily. It is interesting to consider this figure while looking at another report that polled parents on the role of technology in education, which puts a different perspective on this subject entirely. And it indicates that parents value technology and want their kids to engage with it in the classroom. [Should we dig in to the distinction between technology used for "entertainment" vs for educational purposes? I think not... it's the same technology and with everyone multi-tasking it seems a bit like splitting hairs. Well, maybe it's not "splitting hairs' if you are trying to get your son to complete his homework, but for this discussion it is!]

Learning in the 21st Century: Parents’ Perspectives, Parents’ Priorities, was released by Blackboard K-12 and Project Tomorrow in March 2009. Data was collected from more than 21,000 parents of K-12 students, 218,000 students and over 3100 administrators across a broad socio-economic spectrum. In this report, parents, educators and students make it very clear that more technology is better, and 80% of parents in this broad-based study think that students are not spending enough time using technology in education. Only one third of parents responding in the survey felt their child’s school was doing a good job of preparing students for the 21st century. They feel schools need to do a better job integrating technology throughout the learning environment. Complaints range from schools not placing the right emphasis on technology to unacceptable quality of hardware and software. Only one third of parents feel that teachers’ skills in using technology are acceptable.

How are your teens using technology in school? Have them show you what they are learning and how technology is playing a role in their education. Make sure you go to the open house at school and are aware of the way technology is being used at the school. It’s changing quickly and parents need to invest time to understand the value and implications of how your teen’s education is evolving with the times.

Mobile technology opens new doors: The study highlights rather different values and priorities between students and parents in regard to mobile devices. While there is some agreement that mobile technology devices (smart phones, PDAs and MP3 players etc.) can help a child’s education by improving communication, preparing students for the world of work and helping to increase student engagement, students place a much higher value on its utilization than parents. Students express a desire to be untethered from the classroom, wanting to be “free agent learners”, in control of their own education. They see mobile technology as bringing them the opportunity to get beyond the school walls, to engage in experiential, collaborative and participatory learning. Indeed, these are some of the big buzz words in education today, and this kind of learning is infinitely more possible now precisely because of mobile devices, applications and tools.

At this time parents typically use mobile devices less than their kids do, and the writers of the study expect that as parents’ use of such devices increase they will more fully see the potential of this technology as having a positive impact on students and learning. What may not be obvious to you now is likely to become more clear when you gain familiarity with what mobile devices can do for you. When you do, you can see new possibilities and understand better what your kids are experiencing.

If it makes you feel better, I too, am new with these devices. I took the plunge by getting an i-phone at Christmastime, and I’ll tell you honestly – I LOVE it! I’m amazed at the apps that are available to me – and many of them truly do make my life easier! And the only way I can really appreciate how communication and education are changing with these devices is to immerse myself. While it takes precious time, it’s time well spent – especially if you are raising teenagers.

*over 21,000 parents responded to this national survey

Even though parents are sometimes struggling to catch up with their kids’ use of technology, parents do value its use as a vital part of education. There is a PBS special titled Digital Nation coming up Tuesday, February 2 that will discuss parenting in the digital age, and will touch upon many of the topics I know parents are concerned about. The accompanying website Digital Workshops: Online Resources for Parents and Educators that takes the PBS special one step further with interactive surveys, resources and more. Renee Hobbs at Temple University’s Media Education Lab has once again developed an outstanding, informative and insightful resource for parents of teenagers.

Technology in education is one topic area that is a hot item for parents. If you are curious about its importance in your teen’s education, or unclear about how computers are used in the classroom, this video (from the PBS special) spells out the impact it has made in a middle school in a tough inner city neighborhood. The principal says “technology is like oxygen” to his students and by making it available he has turned his school around by almost every measure.

Be sure to watch the PBS special and view the resources at the website… it’s vitally important information for parenting kids in the digital age.

Parents of younger teens are sometimes wondering how to provide the safe online activities that will teach and entertain kids, while giving them reliable protection. NewMoonGirls.com is one such online community; specifically created for girls ages 8 – 12 this unique site offers ad-free, healthy and positive content and encourages tween girls to share their creativity through artwork, poetry, videos etc. Two of their major areas of focus are to build self- esteem in girls and to promote a healthy body image. Membership to this site and community can make a memorable, enjoyable and educational holiday gift.

To share their words: “New Moon Girls is an online community and print magazine where girls create and share poetry, artwork, videos, and more; chat together; and learn. All in a fully moderated, educational environment designed to build self-esteem and positive body image. Membership is just $29.95 for 12 months unlimited online access + 6 bimonthly issues of New Moon Girls print magazine.”

When you visit their website, you’ll know you’ve found a special place. Inviting, colorful and inspirational, they do a first-class job in appealing to your tween daughters, nieces and friends. Here’s just one small section from their home page; you can easily tell these good folks take what they do seriously.

www.NewMoon.com

Here’s a sample copy of their November/December magazine.

This is a terrific holiday gift idea for the tweens and young teen girls on your list. Don’t wait. www.NewMoon.com

I hear many parents of teenagers express concern about their teens’ over-use of cellphones, computers etc. to communicate with their friends. Parents say “I’m worried our kids are not developing skills for inter-personal communication. They spend too much time texting and IM’ing and writing on Facebook…”

Yes, but. New research says not to worry. The technological tools that enable us to connect with one another online, are helping us to increase our personal, in-the-flesh connections too.

I have huge empathy for the parents of teenagers who are struggling to understand, use and embrace these new forms of communication. I spend every day trying to figure it all out myself! And for me, not being a digital native, this does not come naturally. But we have a choice; we can be like my older brother who says “hell will freeze over before I join Facebook” or we can go with the flow and invest some time in learning about the new world. The train has left the station, the question is are you on board?

If you are currently parenting teens, I think your choice is obvious. If you don’t figure out how to play this game, your kids will leave you behind. And you won’t be in a position to support, guide or help them… and the fact is, they need you.

Here’s a quote from Trendwatching.com in their December report. One of the major trends they identify is what they call “Mass Mingling.” (It’s #5 here. )

“More people than ever will be living large parts of their lives online in 2010. Yet, those same people will also mingle, meet up, and congregate more often with other ‘warm bodies’ in the offline world.
In fact, social media and mobile communications are fueling a MASS MINGLING that defies virtually every cliché about diminished human interaction in our ‘online era’.

Basically, the more people can get their hands on the right info, at home and on the go; the more they date and network and twitter and socialize online, the more likely they are to eventually meet up with friends and followers in the real world. Why? Because people actually enjoy interacting with other warm bodies, and will do so forever.”