Lisa Belken’s Motherlode post Dirty Halloween Dancing offers interesting commentary on teenagers’ and their dances. Certainly it’s not new that parents and school officials are imposing rules to keep behavior appropriate…seems our society has fought this battle in every generation.  But what kids are doing at these dances today does take it to another level. One high school teacher describes the scene:

… please know that what we are talking about is not just dirty dancing. Please know that what teenagers do when they think their parents won’t find out is graphic reenactments of sexual acts. Take your average MTV video and superimpose your teenager’s face. Remember, the average MTV video of a popular song usually involves one of the following events: a girl dancing on a stripper pole, a girl writhing in simulated orgasm on a car hood, men drinking alcohol and pouring them on a girl, girls simulating sex acts with each other, both genders simulating sexual intercourse with minimal clothing.. the list goes on and on.

Surely we cannot leave it to MTV to teach teens how to behave… and parents who do will have kids who mistakenly believe this is the right way to behave.

Parents, please don’t underestimate the value of your voice in teaching your kids to develop their sense of self so they feel less influenced by such cultural pressures. Somewhere they need to get messages that this behavior isn’t the norm!  Don’t be daunted if your teen rolls her eyes at you – because she does hear what you say. Be sure that you are the dissenting voice and give her all the examples that you can that the overly sexualized images in the media are NOT the norm and NOT the examples for behavior that will support her (or him) and make her proud of her  behavior.

While teens are likely to express themselves in ways you won’t always approve, be sure you are clear and consistent in encouraging them to think through their behavior, be intentional about the image they want to project and in understanding the media does not represent an accurate picture of real life. More thoughts in  The Power of Sexy

This is a guest post by Jan Stewart and Karen Scibinico.

With the school year just beginning, how confident are you that your teen has the organizational skills necessary to manage his/her workload and belongings successfully?
Is your teen :
• Able to find things when needed?
• Get school assignments completed ahead of time?
• Tote the necessary things to school so you don’t receive calls requesting a drop off of forgotten items?

If you answered yes, to these questions, congratulations! Your teen is positioned for success. However, most teens need a little encouragement to start practicing habits that will help them better manage life’s day- to -day tasks now and in the future.

The best way that a parent can help is to model desired behavior. If you want your child to be on time, make sure you are on time, especially for activities that involve your teen. If you want your teen to have an orderly room, make sure that you create order in the rest of the home. If you want your teen to plan schoolwork assignments to avoid a last minute crunch, make sure you do the same. How many of us are scurrying around in April to get our tax returns complete before the April 15th deadline?

Find a calm moment to talk with your teen about getting more organized. Remember to have realistic expectations. While you may be a “neatnik” or the consummate organizer and planner, your teen may not feel comfortable trying to emulate your style and may not need to become a perfectionist in order to be more productive. Help your teen develop an organizational process that matches his/her personality and style. Begin with small steps.

The beginning of the school year is a great time to start the process. Work together with your teen to sort through your teen’s belongings and make sure that needed items are in good shape. Discard outgrown, worn out or duplicate articles and clothing. Create spaces for your teen’s belongings. Make or purchase containers and put like items together. It’s a lot easier to put things away when they have a designated home. Otherwise, closets, space under beds and drawers can become a scary mix of unrelated unknowns.

Does your teen have all the recommended school supplies? One of the most valuable tools is an assignment notebook. In addition to homework, your teen can make notations about things to remember or items needed. Create a location where all school-related supplies are kept. Every night, make sure that backpacks and school work are ready to go for the morning. Have your teen check the assignment notebook to make sure he or she is ready for the next day.

Encourage your teen by noticing progress and giving a word of praise. Provide an occasional reward for a job well done. Once your teen has become more organized, confidence will grow, stress will be reduced, and productivity will increase. The time saved can be spent on other activities, including relaxing and having fun.

For more information on this topic, Julie Morgenstern and her daughter, Jessi Morgenstern-Colon, have written a great book “Organizing from the Inside Out for Teenagers: The Foolproof System for Organizing Your Room, Your Time, Your Life”.

Jan Stewart and Karen Scibinico are partners in a company called, Emerge – Opt to Succeed. They teach a seminar entitled “Increase Your Productivity, Improve Your Organizational Skills” and work with teens to help them discover ways to better manage their time. Consult their web site www.emergewithcoaching.com for more information.