As more and more parents are allowing your teens on Facebook, and as many of you are trying to figure out now to make your own way through the social networking maze yourself, you’ll want to be aware of what is happening at Facebook. In several recent redesigns they have made some alterations to their default privacy settings which have some interesting implications. The day I saw the notice from Facebook about new settings I was, as is often the case, in a rush. So I took the easy way out and accepted their recommendations for their default privacy setting. However, upon further inspection, I feel this is not a good choice. Their default privacy settings allow people to see my information – people who are NOT in my personal network. Not what I want, and probably not a good choice for your teenager either.

The New York Times reprinted an excellent piece from ReadWriteWeb The 3 Facebook Settings Every User Should Check Out which will guide you through the privacy setting issue. It will take all of 10 minutes at the most. Walk through this how-to article and make sure your settings are what you want on your Facebook page; then sit down with your teenager to walk through it on her page as well.

Facebook, like many institutions, isn’t out for our best interest. They are out for theirs.

I hear many parents of teenagers express concern about their teens’ over-use of cellphones, computers etc. to communicate with their friends. Parents say “I’m worried our kids are not developing skills for inter-personal communication. They spend too much time texting and IM’ing and writing on Facebook…”

Yes, but. New research says not to worry. The technological tools that enable us to connect with one another online, are helping us to increase our personal, in-the-flesh connections too.

I have huge empathy for the parents of teenagers who are struggling to understand, use and embrace these new forms of communication. I spend every day trying to figure it all out myself! And for me, not being a digital native, this does not come naturally. But we have a choice; we can be like my older brother who says “hell will freeze over before I join Facebook” or we can go with the flow and invest some time in learning about the new world. The train has left the station, the question is are you on board?

If you are currently parenting teens, I think your choice is obvious. If you don’t figure out how to play this game, your kids will leave you behind. And you won’t be in a position to support, guide or help them… and the fact is, they need you.

Here’s a quote from Trendwatching.com in their December report. One of the major trends they identify is what they call “Mass Mingling.” (It’s #5 here. )

“More people than ever will be living large parts of their lives online in 2010. Yet, those same people will also mingle, meet up, and congregate more often with other ‘warm bodies’ in the offline world.
In fact, social media and mobile communications are fueling a MASS MINGLING that defies virtually every cliché about diminished human interaction in our ‘online era’.

Basically, the more people can get their hands on the right info, at home and on the go; the more they date and network and twitter and socialize online, the more likely they are to eventually meet up with friends and followers in the real world. Why? Because people actually enjoy interacting with other warm bodies, and will do so forever.”