Here’s an idea that stood out again this year as a great way to incorporate test prep into your holiday gift-giving. VerbaLearn is a unique online service that focuses on vocabulary building for grades 7 – 12 (and higher). The service successfully bridges the gap between traditional flashcards and Web 2.0 technologies by offering audio, video, games, and more! The creators of this unique service have done a creative job of making this process contemporary – it uses all the tools kids are comfortable using these days – and fun.

VerbaLearn’s basic service is free for anyone to sign up, but here’s the gift idea: you can actually sponsor a student for $40 to learn the words, much like you would sponsor someone to complete a charity walk. The sponsorship helps provide motivation for the student to learn the words and the cash is awarded to the student as he or she progresses through the course – there are no strings attached! Students can choose from 12 specifically designed courses (e.g. SAT, ACT, GRE) to help them prepare for entrance exams, do better in school, or advance their career. Check out the VerbaLearn demo video below to learn more about this cool vocabulary building service and visit VerbaLearn.com for more information on their unique sponsorship option.

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Do you ever wonder how your teenager makes decisions? Sometimes a teen’s baffling behavior is a result of a decision making process that makes perfect sense to him…but leaves parents wondering.  Actually, good decision-making is a learned skill, and it’s one that parents can play a key role in teaching.

First, let’s examine why teens sometimes make poor decisions. There are several very legitimate reasons, some of which are developmental.

• Brain development: The part of the teen brain that is not yet fully developed is responsible for long-range thinking, seeing consequences for actions and the big picture.   If your teen doesn’t seem to grasp the long view or see consequences for the choices she makes, she’s not lost forever, she’s just in that stage, developmentally, where these capacities are not yet reliable.
• Social pressure: Teens value friends above all else. They care deeply about how their actions and are judged and evaluated by their peers.  It isn’t as simple as what we think of as typical “peer pressure,” the influence of a teen’s social world on his/her decision making can be much more subtle and more pervasive.
• Lack of experience: Adults’ decisions are based upon many things, not the least of which is experience. This point is simple: teens lack the experience that will help inform good decisions.   And they don’t know what they don’t know.
• Emotions: Teenagers feel their emotions at twice the intensity of adults. This emotional landscape can impact the level headedness required for good decisions.

How can a parent coach your teen to make good decisions? Think about how you make the important decisions in your life. You probably use a process*, whether you are conscious of it or not. This process, and the process that can help your teen probably includes some or all of the steps below:

• Recognize that a decision needs to be made.
• Understand the ideal goal of the decision.
• Develop a list of options.
• Identify the positive and negative consequences of the choices.
• Examine the desirability of each option
• Evaluate the probability for each option.

Teach your teenager to examine, consider and evaluate these steps when making important decisions.  Show him how you have used this process in a big decision, so it becomes a concrete process, not just a theoretical one.  By teaching them to apply a process to their decision-making they will be more equipped to mitigate the influences that can throw them off base from the start.

Be specific, then let him take charge. One of the challenges parents face with teens is, while they can be flakey, they need to have the opportunity to make decisions. Sometimes they will do a great job, and sometimes they will create problems with their poor decisions. They need the opportunity to learn from each. One mom asked about the challenge she faces with her son as he organizes his social life. You know the scene here… your young teenager coordinates with friends – and we know how often those plans change! – and then simply expects his mom to be available to take him where he needs to go. While she tries to help out, there are times his last minute scheduling creates real challenges for her. She asked how she can teach him good decision making skills that also take her needs and schedule into account. Great question.  There are several things parents can keep in mind here: guidelines, consequences for actions, and speaking about your needs when everyone is in the right mood.

I suggested to her that she have a conversation with her son when the time felt right –  not when he is in the midst of making plans with his friends – and explain that she has her own schedule and needs and won’t always be available to accommodate him. Presented in the right way he’ll get this. Then, she can create some guidelines that might include a few key questions that he needs to cover every time he is making plans with his friends. These questions might include: “How am I going to get where I want to go?”  ”Have I asked permission?”  ”Have I given my parents plenty of advance notice?”  ”Do I have a ride both ways?” etc. I suggested she discuss these questions with her son and leave them on the family bulletin board.  This way it becomes his responsibility to answer them and have his ducks in a row well before the event. He’ll learn about planning ahead, he’ll have a framework for expectations, and some guidelines on what he needs to do.  The consequences may come into play when last minute plans cannot be accommodated by mom.

It’s a process teaching kids to make good decisions, and a parent’s approach is most effective when it empowers them and allows them to practice and learn.

*As an aside, cognitive researchers are discovering that even in adults reasoning often isn’t organized or logical but may be automatic and unconscious.   So, as you are coaching your teen, it may be helpful to revisit the steps above to remind you of your best approach.

This is a guest post by Jan Stewart and Karen Scibinico.

With the school year just beginning, how confident are you that your teen has the organizational skills necessary to manage his/her workload and belongings successfully?
Is your teen :
• Able to find things when needed?
• Get school assignments completed ahead of time?
• Tote the necessary things to school so you don’t receive calls requesting a drop off of forgotten items?

If you answered yes, to these questions, congratulations! Your teen is positioned for success. However, most teens need a little encouragement to start practicing habits that will help them better manage life’s day- to -day tasks now and in the future.

The best way that a parent can help is to model desired behavior. If you want your child to be on time, make sure you are on time, especially for activities that involve your teen. If you want your teen to have an orderly room, make sure that you create order in the rest of the home. If you want your teen to plan schoolwork assignments to avoid a last minute crunch, make sure you do the same. How many of us are scurrying around in April to get our tax returns complete before the April 15th deadline?

Find a calm moment to talk with your teen about getting more organized. Remember to have realistic expectations. While you may be a “neatnik” or the consummate organizer and planner, your teen may not feel comfortable trying to emulate your style and may not need to become a perfectionist in order to be more productive. Help your teen develop an organizational process that matches his/her personality and style. Begin with small steps.

The beginning of the school year is a great time to start the process. Work together with your teen to sort through your teen’s belongings and make sure that needed items are in good shape. Discard outgrown, worn out or duplicate articles and clothing. Create spaces for your teen’s belongings. Make or purchase containers and put like items together. It’s a lot easier to put things away when they have a designated home. Otherwise, closets, space under beds and drawers can become a scary mix of unrelated unknowns.

Does your teen have all the recommended school supplies? One of the most valuable tools is an assignment notebook. In addition to homework, your teen can make notations about things to remember or items needed. Create a location where all school-related supplies are kept. Every night, make sure that backpacks and school work are ready to go for the morning. Have your teen check the assignment notebook to make sure he or she is ready for the next day.

Encourage your teen by noticing progress and giving a word of praise. Provide an occasional reward for a job well done. Once your teen has become more organized, confidence will grow, stress will be reduced, and productivity will increase. The time saved can be spent on other activities, including relaxing and having fun.

For more information on this topic, Julie Morgenstern and her daughter, Jessi Morgenstern-Colon, have written a great book “Organizing from the Inside Out for Teenagers: The Foolproof System for Organizing Your Room, Your Time, Your Life”.

Jan Stewart and Karen Scibinico are partners in a company called, Emerge – Opt to Succeed. They teach a seminar entitled “Increase Your Productivity, Improve Your Organizational Skills” and work with teens to help them discover ways to better manage their time. Consult their web site www.emergewithcoaching.com for more information.