Random thoughts this morning…. a little disjointed, but food for thought.  First, I want to applaud and recognize all parents of teenagers who have the courage of your convictions. As I talk to parents, peruse the web and consider the choices, decisions, and issues you face every day, I just want to recognize the difficulty of this job today. And I want to encourage you to keep the courage of your convictions… if you believe you are making the best choices and decisions that you can, that is the best you can do.

Let’s face it; our experiences just don’t translate in many ways to the experiences of our teenagers. This generation of digital natives has a profoundly different set of expectations around the way they gather information and use it.  Many parents are struggling to catch up themselves…. and struggling to find the right set of rules for their kids. The “generation gap” that was so obvious in the 60’s and 70’s is alive and well today, most obviously in the way the generations communicate and use technology.

Retraining required: I am in the (rather painful) process of switching from a PC to a Mac. Apple has a wonderful program called One-to-One where for $99 I can get all the personal training I can use for one year at my local Apple store. I am there regularly. And the first thing I say to my trainer, so far a different Gen Y-er every time, is “for me there is nothing natural about using a computer.”  It is a point of view, a way of thinking that is different from many young people today.  For them, this appears to be natural.  Mobile communication; instant communication; constant communication… natural for them. Unnatural for me.  I felt validated the other night when I overheard a customer explain his difficulties in working with his computer by saying “I’m old!”  Today’s language and medium is just different.

Cell phones and teens: Decisions around when to allow your teen a cell phone is just one classic example of the intersection of parental convictions and teens’ use of  technology.  This two part essay is written by a writer for the Wall St. Journal and his 14 year old son, each giving their point of view on the cell phone issue.  Levi, the son, shares some good reasons why it is time that he get his own cell phone…not the least of which he is quite literally the only kid he knows who doesn’t have one. And Steve, his Dad, shares why Levi doesn’t have one yet.

Here’s my point: Bravo to Steve for his convictions. Even if Levi is the only kid in his school without a cell phone, if his parents sincerely feel this is the right choice for their family, then I give them full credit for that. Too many parents get buffeted by the pressure and expectations of their kids and the expectations and norms in their community. I do believe we should listen to what our teens are saying…and recognize the norms and expectations in our community…and then make our personal decisions, even if they go against the tide.  That’s the kind of personal conviction that gets my respect.

iCurfew is a new iPhone app just announced this week from my colleague Vanessa Van Petten at Radical Parenting. I don’t have an i-phone, so I haven’t tested this out, but I really like the sound of it. I’ve been approached numerous times to write about various devices that monitor teens. I have declined so far because I

iCurfew iPhone app

don’t have the staff or ability to properly evaluate such products, and because  electronically monitoring teens feels really intrusive to me.  It might be right for you…. I just don’t want to go there.  iCurfew utilizes the built-in GPS feature in your iPhone and allows your teen to send a parent an email message that identifies their whereabouts.  What appears to be interesting about iCurfew is that they are encouraging kids to use it voluntarily as a way to confirm their location and keep honest communication open between teens and their parents.   If you have an i-phone and try it out, please share your comments here.

I won’t be holding my breath to hear from Levi or Steve on the matter, though.