Today, all parents know that their kids’ lives in regards to the use of technology are going to be dramatically different than their own. This has become one of the most obsessed about topics for parents because we are in need of providing guidance and counseling in an area where their kids often know more than they do! This is not easy to do… I get that. However, there are more and more resources available to you, and I want to tell you about a new one.

I’ve previously introduced you to Vanessa Van Petten, the LA-based 23 year old who writes for teens and their parents. She’s recently released an e-book titled The Dirt-E Secrets of an Internet Kid (downloadable for $10) that is designed to give parents a leg-up on understanding and guiding their teens’ activities online. Vanessa has included many links to popular websites for tweens and teens, as well as definitions, guidelines and good ideas.

Vanessa suggests that some of the advice experts pass along to parents is inadequate and misleading. She takes aim at guidelines like Keep the computer in a public room; Know your kid’s passwords; and Ask your kids to see their profile, then look at it with them. She claims parents are kidding themselves if they think these strategies don’t have simple work-arounds for teens. (While I imagine most parents are aware of this, I wouldn’t suggest you abandon these approaches.)

She guides parents to engage in a “Cyber-Citizenship Talk.” Likened to the “drug talk” and the “sex talk”, she urges parents to sit down and have the “internet talk.” Her guidelines for this talk have off-line counterparts like “always wear clothes,” “beware of strangers,” “do not litter,” and “treat others with respect.” And she provides a video where she likens the internet to a public park, suggesting that this good-sense approach will work with your teen.

One area that concerns many parents is the way bullying has evolved in this internet and mobile-based world. Vanessa characterizes this by saying “the internet has changed the playground-bully into the in-my-bedroom-bully,” and brings to the forefront the challenges kids face because of this. If you don’t have this first-hand knowledge already, this segment will give you tremendous appreciation for your kids’ world view in regards to the intersection of their social life and their internet life.

Vanessa, in her typical high-energy way, gives parents some helpful tools here, and my hat goes off to her for a great effort.

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As I introduced myself at a meeting last evening, I said that I’m a publisher of products and programs for parents of teenagers, and that I’m also offering audio products and tele-seminars. One woman asked “What’s a Tele-seminar?”

Forgive me for assuming you know! And allow me to tell you how they work…for this is the BEST way of gathering and consuming information I know of!

A Tele-seminar is a seminar that takes place through the phone. Sometimes they are called tele-classes…and yes, they are the cousin (or twin sister…I’ll explain) of podcasts. It’s EASY to take a tele-seminar and there are many reasons why they are gaining in popularity.

Tele-seminars are great because:

• They are very time-efficient. There is no commuting time because you sit on the phone from your own home or office. There is little “chit-chat” because you don’t feel the need to visit with your neighbor, and a good leader keeps the program on track and focused.
• They are very focused because there are few distracting stimuli. In a live seminar you may be distracted by many elements (the people around you, outside noises, settling down after your trip there etc.) but in a tele-seminar you tend to stay focused on the subject matter.
• They can be inexpensive in comparison to a live seminar.
• They are easy. All participants do is call in to a preassigned telephone number (it is customary that participants pay for the phone charge), dial in a passcode…and that’s all there is to it.
• They are flexible. Depending on the number of people on the call, the leader may choose to have the lines open so everyone can speak live, they may ask participants to mute their lines to avoid background noise from their homes, or the leader can mute everyone and run the class in “lecture” mode.
  
• Handouts can be printed out separately. All the visual supports are available through pdf files sent separately.

I became a big fan of tele-seminars a few years ago as I began taking them on a variety of topics. In 2005 I became certified as a tele-class leader; this training is helpful because leading a group with whom you have no eye contact requires some special skills. Last year I had the privilege of running several ongoing tele-seminars with employees at AT&T. Through their Employee Assistance Program I was hired to run an ongoing parent support group for parents of teenagers, and another for parents of college students. These groups ran for a whole year and were a wonderful benefit for the employees. I’m hoping that other companies will offer this kind of programming as it’s helpful and empowering to gather parents in this way as they learn together and process their experiences. I will be offering a 3-part tele-seminar support group for parenting teenagers beginning in a few weeks. (Details coming soon…e-mail me if you want me to contact you with details.)

Tele-seminars are like podcasts…sort of. Podcasting is a term that many people banter around and the meaning isn’t always the same. Podcasting is both a format and a channel of distribution. The format refers to an mp3 audio file, and a tele-seminar that is recorded can be put into an mp3 file which will make it a podcast. In this case, however, you’ll note that the tele-seminar is consumed as a recording, not live. Podcasting is growing in popularity because you can consume the content on your time, in the method of your choice. You can listen to the recording of a previously run tele-seminar, and you can listen wherever you want: at your computer, or on your i-pod or mp3 player. (You don’t need an i-pod to listen to a podcast; any mp3 player will do.) This is great because it’s flexible, portable and you’re in the driver’s seat.

Podcasting as a “channel” refers to the many ways podcasts get pushed out onto the internet and thru services like blogs and i-tunes.

Your kids know how to download and use podcasting technology because this is how they download music.

If you don’t know how to do this yet, begin with a tele-seminar. It’s easy and highly effective. You are invited to join me in my FREE tele-seminars. Next week I’m offering 3 different 60 minute tele-seminars:

• Practical Tips for Parenting Teens…for parents of teenagers,
• Help Parents Move from Conflict to Connection…for professionals and parent leaders who work with parents of teens,
• Introducing the Jewish Please Stop the Rollercoaster! Parent Group Program…for those of you interested in offering this program in your Jewish community.

You can listen to these tele-seminars live, or download them to listen later. Either way, you’ll need to register to receive the call-in information and the link to the recording. Hope you can join me!

NOTE: Marty Fahncke, of Conference Call University contacted me as a result of this post. You should visit his site where he lists tele-seminars, podcasts etc that are being offered in a wide variety of topics. You’ll be hooked on this way of learning before you know it!

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There has been a lot of discussion lately about the various weblogs which are targeted to teenagers. MySpace is the largest of them, with about 42 million users. Kids post pictures there - some more tasteful than others - and answer surveys - not always truthfully - outlining their interests, loves, etc.

What’s mystifying to an adult, is that kids think that these areas are private - for their eyes only. Ask a teenager if you can view his or her area on MySpace and they are likely to tell you that you “need permission.” Hello? I need “permission” to view something on the web that is there for mankind to see?? Who’s off base here?

Parents are scolded by some teens for viewing their weblog, creating unnecssary tension between parents and their teens. Parents walk on eggs while trying to keep their kids safe and smart in the way they portray themselves, and kids scold parents for snooping.

Let us remember that a few years ago these areas didn’t even exist… that would be why they have proliferated beneath the radar screen of parental awareness. But we’re on top of it now, and as the world changes, parents need to update their rule books.

Smart parents will have a look at these sites, and a good honest discussion about the potential dangers with their teenagers. Remember the smart rules for internet safety:

• Keep the computer in an open family space, NOT in a child’s bedroom.
• Limit online time.
• Be aware of how your child is spending her online time.
• Educate your teens about internet realities – these areas are not private, and it is possible to trace users if they reveal even limited personal information.
• Never talk in open chatrooms.
• Never share your password or ask for the password from a friend.
• Never pose as someone you are not.
• When talking online, only say things that you would say if you were face-to face.

I have a longer article on this important issue along with some excellent resources here:http://www.pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/articles/MySpace.html

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