Parenting Teenagers: Countdown to Graduation

Is your teenager counting the days to graduation? This is an exciting time… and it can be a rollercoaster ride for parents.

The range of emotions that parents feel during this event and transition can vary widely and feel confusing.  A week ago when my husband and I were chatting with our waitress while dining out, tears sprang into her eyes as she mentioned that her eldest is about to graduate from high school. It reminded me of a similar situation in Burger King a few years back while speaking with another graduate’s mom who also found her emotions too intense to hold in.

Is graduation a time of joy? You bet! It’s a time to appreciate past accomplishments and to pause before moving into new opportunities. And as parents pause, it is ever-so-appropriate for big feelings to arise. High school graduation is a big rite of passage. Not only is this is one of the biggest events in your teenager’s life so far, it is a huge milestone for you.

Not all parents are overcome with emotions that bring tears. We all feel and express these emotions in our own way. If you are one of those who tends toward the tears, please relax with that. It’s okay. If you are one who is focusing on the joy, that is great too. There is no wrong way to experience this passage… there is only your way.

One mother of a soon-to-be high school graduate who is having trouble keeping her tears in, marveled at and wondered about her son’s apparent lack of emotion about this whole thing. Be aware that kids who appear stoic and unemotional about this event may be fooling you. Although it is entirely possible they don’t feel it the same way you do, an unruffled exterior may be covering up for emotions they don’t want to show. Even in the event that your teen acts as though s/he doesn’t much care about the whole thing, I suggest parents assume that your teenager is sensitive and really does care. A stoic exterior may be covering up all kinds of things: for a sincere need for your appreciation for this accomplishment, a bit of fear and trepidation about going away, concern about whether s/he made the right decisions or will be able to compete where s/he is going…. no doubt there is a lot going on under the surface and it will be helpful to use kid gloves and sensitivity in dealing with your graduate.

It’s been a long road getting here, hasn’t it? After the celebrations are over, you will have some new territory to cover during the summer between graduation and your teenager’s next step. This can get a little dicey… we’ll talk it through in a future post. In the meantime, take it all in. Enjoy it, feel it, walk through the memories and take note of how far your family has come.