Comments on: Reflections on the Long and Winding Road of Raising a Son http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2010/01/09/reflections-on-the-long-and-winding-road-of-raising-a-son/ Tips and Tools for Successfully Parenting your Teen Wed, 01 Sep 2010 03:15:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Carole Heaton http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2010/01/09/reflections-on-the-long-and-winding-road-of-raising-a-son/comment-page-1/#comment-2655 Carole Heaton Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:22:30 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/?p=845#comment-2655 Although I was not able to get Roswell High School interested in the rollercoaster, somehow high school parents found me and as luck would have it most of these moms have sons. As I run this group I am benefiting from learning what is "normal" for high school boys. And it is completey different from our senior daughter that heads to Wake Forest in the fall. Many boys seem to struggle more, be far less connected and perhaps drift along while we worry about where their going and how they'll get there. I did not really know about your experience with your son, thanks for sharing it. My intention as the mom of a 9th grade son is to believe that whatever path he takes he will get where he's supposed to be. Having the opportunity to get connected with other moms on this topic has been a godsend for all of us in the group and how stunning that our boys all seem to share many of the same cavemen traits that worry us so much. As we march into chapter 4, I know that we all sleep just a little better knowing that we are not alone and that are kids are maybe not REALLY loners just taking the time to find their way in their own time. Although I was not able to get Roswell High School interested in the rollercoaster, somehow high school parents found me and as luck would have it most of these moms have sons. As I run this group I am benefiting from learning what is “normal” for high school boys. And it is completey different from our senior daughter that heads to Wake Forest in the fall. Many boys seem to struggle more, be far less connected and perhaps drift along while we worry about where their going and how they’ll get there. I did not really know about your experience with your son, thanks for sharing it. My intention as the mom of a 9th grade son is to believe that whatever path he takes he will get where he’s supposed to be. Having the opportunity to get connected with other moms on this topic has been a godsend for all of us in the group and how stunning that our boys all seem to share many of the same cavemen traits that worry us so much. As we march into chapter 4, I know that we all sleep just a little better knowing that we are not alone and that are kids are maybe not REALLY loners just taking the time to find their way in their own time.

]]> By: Sue Blaney http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2010/01/09/reflections-on-the-long-and-winding-road-of-raising-a-son/comment-page-1/#comment-2638 Sue Blaney Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:23:46 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/?p=845#comment-2638 Amy... somedays parenting is really hard, isn't it?! I feel for you as I too went through some tough spells. First, let me say that your son isn't the only 13 year old who struggles with organization, self-esteem and social problems; in fact if you think being the parent of a teenager is hard, being a teenager may be even more difficult. AND it is entirely possible that what he is going thru falls completely in the bounds of "normal" for a teen. But, I don't know that for sure from your comment. You ask for a lead to resources... I think one of the best resources for parents in your situation is the school counselor. They are in the unique position of seeing teens his age every day, and s/he can also see your son in a context that is very different than the way you see him. It is not uncommon for kids his age to behave VERY differently at school than at home, so you can benefit from gathering info from adults who see him at school. I encourage you to meet with his counselor, discuss your concerns and questions and together you will be able to develop a strategy to help him. You will also find lots of helpful information here on this website that will help you. And you could benefit from my audio program (just won the Mom's Choice award) because I discuss what is "normal" teen behavior, and how you can improve communication with your teen. You could also benefit from joining a parent discussion group - (see the Rollercoaster video) so you don't feel so alone. It's a journey...take a deep breath and stick with it. Your son obviously has a mom who cares deeply and that will go a long way to getting you all through the tough periods. Good luck! My best - Sue Blaney Amy… somedays parenting is really hard, isn’t it?! I feel for you as I too went through some tough spells. First, let me say that your son isn’t the only 13 year old who struggles with organization, self-esteem and social problems; in fact if you think being the parent of a teenager is hard, being a teenager may be even more difficult. AND it is entirely possible that what he is going thru falls completely in the bounds of “normal” for a teen. But, I don’t know that for sure from your comment. You ask for a lead to resources… I think one of the best resources for parents in your situation is the school counselor. They are in the unique position of seeing teens his age every day, and s/he can also see your son in a context that is very different than the way you see him. It is not uncommon for kids his age to behave VERY differently at school than at home, so you can benefit from gathering info from adults who see him at school. I encourage you to meet with his counselor, discuss your concerns and questions and together you will be able to develop a strategy to help him.

You will also find lots of helpful information here on this website that will help you. And you could benefit from my audio program (just won the Mom’s Choice award) because I discuss what is “normal” teen behavior, and how you can improve communication with your teen. You could also benefit from joining a parent discussion group – (see the Rollercoaster video) so you don’t feel so alone.

It’s a journey…take a deep breath and stick with it. Your son obviously has a mom who cares deeply and that will go a long way to getting you all through the tough periods. Good luck!

My best – Sue Blaney

]]> By: Amy http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2010/01/09/reflections-on-the-long-and-winding-road-of-raising-a-son/comment-page-1/#comment-2637 Amy Wed, 03 Feb 2010 04:19:01 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/?p=845#comment-2637 I'm in tears tonight as we struggle with our 13 year old son and his schoolwork. He struggles with organization, self esteem, and pressures from kids that have more than he does. He says he doesn't do his schoolwork because he doesn't care/it doesn't matter. I know him and find that hard to believe. I am having trouble finding resources to help but your story does give me hope and encouragement to keep looking so thank you. If you do have ideas if where to start, I would appreciate it. I’m in tears tonight as we struggle with our 13 year old son and his schoolwork. He struggles with organization, self esteem, and pressures from kids that have more than he does. He says he doesn’t do his schoolwork because he doesn’t care/it doesn’t matter. I know him and find that hard to believe. I am having trouble finding resources to help but your story does give me hope and encouragement to keep looking so thank you. If you do have ideas if where to start, I would appreciate it.

]]> By: Elaine http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2010/01/09/reflections-on-the-long-and-winding-road-of-raising-a-son/comment-page-1/#comment-2635 Elaine Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:54:57 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/?p=845#comment-2635 Unbelievable.. this could have been my son-- our adventure-- you were talking about. He's just started college and I worry a lot of the time how he's really doing, since he won't let on what's going on with him, beyond the skiing and outdoors stuff he's so drawn to. Thanks for bringing a knowing smile to my face and a certain reassurance that others have gone through the same angst and yet, it does turn out okay. Unbelievable.. this could have been my son– our adventure– you were talking about. He’s just started college and I worry a lot of the time how he’s really doing, since he won’t let on what’s going on with him, beyond the skiing and outdoors stuff he’s so drawn to. Thanks for bringing a knowing smile to my face and a certain reassurance that others have gone through the same angst and yet, it does turn out okay.

]]> By: Karyn http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2010/01/09/reflections-on-the-long-and-winding-road-of-raising-a-son/comment-page-1/#comment-2609 Karyn Sun, 10 Jan 2010 03:22:16 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/?p=845#comment-2609 I can relate! Our middle child turned 18 today. He's a senior in HS and what you wrote about the school journey struck a cord! He's done better since we changed schools, but he could do much better if he took ADD medicine...but he doesn't want to and we haven't forced it since 9th grade. I'm concerned about college, but taking it a step at a time. Congratulations on your son's graduation from college! I can relate! Our middle child turned 18 today. He’s a senior in HS and what you wrote about the school journey struck a cord! He’s done better since we changed schools, but he could do much better if he took ADD medicine…but he doesn’t want to and we haven’t forced it since 9th grade. I’m concerned about college, but taking it a step at a time.

Congratulations on your son’s graduation from college!

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