Teens, Dirty Dancing…

November 3rd, 2009 by Sue Blaney

Lisa Belken’s Motherlode post Dirty Halloween Dancing offers interesting commentary on teenagers’ and their dances. Certainly it’s not new that parents and school officials are imposing rules to keep behavior appropriate…seems our society has fought this battle in every generation. But what kids are doing at these dances today does take it to another level. One high school teacher describes the scene:

… please know that what we are talking about is not just dirty dancing. Please know that what teenagers do when they think their parents won’t find out is graphic reenactments of sexual acts. Take your average MTV video and superimpose your teenager’s face. Remember, the average MTV video of a popular song usually involves one of the following events: a girl dancing on a stripper pole, a girl writhing in simulated orgasm on a car hood, men drinking alcohol and pouring them on a girl, girls simulating sex acts with each other, both genders simulating sexual intercourse with minimal clothing.. the list goes on and on.

Surely we cannot leave it to MTV to teach teens how to behave… and parents who do will have kids who mistakenly believe this is the right way to behave.

Parents, please don’t underestimate the value of your voice in teaching your kids to develop their sense of self so they feel less influenced by such cultural pressures. Somewhere they need to get messages that this behavior isn’t the norm! Don’t be daunted if your teen rolls her eyes at you – because she does hear what you say. Be sure that you are the dissenting voice and give her all the examples that you can that the overly sexualized images in the media are NOT the norm and NOT the examples for behavior that will support her (or him) and make her proud of her behavior.

While teens are likely to express themselves in ways you won’t always approve, be sure you are clear and consistent in encouraging them to think through their behavior, be intentional about the image they want to project and in understanding the media does not represent an accurate picture of real life. More thoughts in The Power of Sexy

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3 responses about “Teens, Dirty Dancing…”

Amy Jussel, Shaping Youth said:
November 4th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Great post, Sue…As we head into Homecoming season, I’m thinking we should bring you into this dialog on Shaping Youth too. Our HS handbook has an interesting “no humping the floor” regulation called out in it which raised my eyebrows w/incredulity. “Really? They need to put this stuff in writing now as a public school policy? wow”

At parochial school the dance band had a cheesy ’stick cartoon graphic’ w/a slash through it to indicate same…so it made me realize how far removed from reality most parents are in ’student life’ scenarios. Would love to crosspost this on the blog w/some of your ‘two minute tips’ going into homecoming…(dating? pairs? groups? ages? upperclassmen w/frosh? etc. etc.) To hear from your world.

p.s. Still need to come up from air to respond to your other email on S.Y. too. Just buried. Talk soon, a.
Sue Blaney said:
November 5th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I’m here whenever you need me, Amy. Love your perspective and info for parents and teens…Keep up the great work.
Katrina Russo said:
November 6th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
This is a hard issue, great post. Maybe I’ll bring it up to my boys and see what they think.

Happy shopping,

~Kat~
@katluvsshoes