Is the Web a Good Place to Receive Advice?

I’ve been riveted to the story of Emmie’s unwanted pregnancy on Motherlode, as I told you yesterday. As a blogger I’ve been responding to this dynamic drama with fascination because so often I have found the comments from readers on this New York Times blog to be harsh and judgmental. I’ve cringed many times as I have observed that thick skin seems to be a requirement for bloggers….which scares me a bit because that is definitely not one of my strong suits.

But what has unfolded here is entirely different. Emmie’s request for input has opened up a raft of emotions, memories and shared thoughts that are deep, personal and moving. Deciding how to handle an unwanted pregnancy is one of the most difficult decisions a woman will ever make in her life, and Emmie is grateful for the input of strangers. What I’m grateful to see is the respect with which people are sharing their feelings.

Motherlode’s author Lisa Belkin has also noted the tone of this discourse, and it inspired her to write a follow-up post about just that. For those of you who wonder, as I do, about the value of internet discussion between strangers, Lisa and Emmie share why it’s been so helpful to her. For those of you who are trying to figure out why people write and share on the internet, this example has brought out the best in why and how value can be found in interactive web forums.

One of the few who responded negatively about this story said: Ms. Belkin, it was a not a good idea to ask readers to advise people they do not know. In the future, please refer such requests to a local counseling center. That is the proper forum for obtaining such advice.

From Lisa Belkin: I respectfully disagree. I do not think a forum like this should be the ONLY place to get help, but having read all 530-plus posts here, I am struck by the breadth and depth of the advice. Emmie is talking to her family, and her school, and getting wise counsel in person. What a forum like this one can do for her, though, is show her which opinions resonate, and which do not, which posts make her nod in agreement and which make her shake her head. In addition, it is eloquent proof that others have been through the same thing, which she might not be able to hear from her own personal circle.

From Emmie: It’s nice to hear other people’s experiences and ideas, especially when the world feels so incredibly small. The one thing that has helped is to just listen to other people. It doesn’t matter what their advice is, whether or not I would have agreed with them a week ago, I just want to hear other people’s ideas. I’m also really glad that I’m getting advice from complete strangers. I’ve realized that getting advice for your parents or relatives carries a certain weight that doesn’t always feel so helpful.

What do you think about sharing such personal experiences with strangers on the web?