College Drinking as a “Social Cure-All”…?

Owen Jennings is just completing his sophomore year at Dartmouth. Don’t miss his compelling essay Sober in the Animal House in the New York Times. Make this must reading for your teenager….especially if college is not far off.

Drinking to excess has become a social crutch with consequences for young adults that can have far reaching consequences. Beyond the inherent and hopefully obvious dangers of alcohol poisoning, unwanted sexual activity, violence and addiction, some heavy-drinking teens actually fail to mature during this vital stage of growth and development. Lest I fall into clinical talk that fails to adequately capture the tragedy here, let me quote from one of the reader comments on the NYTimes’ blog posting:

For those of you [who] think that college alcoholism is a problem only for C-students and Greeks, I’m hear to tell you that in my experience, it cuts across all levels of academic success. Only one of my regular drinking buddies was in a fraternity and none of us had a GPA below 3.5. We’re now pursuing careers in law, medicine, business, chemistry, physics, social work, government and international aid.

So “no harm, no foul” right? Just kids being kids? Looking back on those wasted nights and their unfortunate consequences, not the least of which is forgetting how to socialize without drinking, I think it’s time for a change.

Rotten Little Girls is a blog written by two current college students who maintain their anonymity, but in an authentic voice share a viewpoint about college drinking. One says:

• “Pre-gaming” became a ritual and I attributed my new confident self to alcohol. Instead of being a relative wallflower like I was in high school, suddenly I had the confidence to go up to cute guys and hit on them, or talk to people who seemed cooler than I. Granted, I was friends with people I would now consider alcoholics or alcohol abusers, but I thought that beer and cheap vodka was the holy grail of social lubrication. I was fearless.
  

Koren Zailckas’ sadly moving portrayal (Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood) about college drinking from a young woman’s personal experience was eye-opening for parents. I don’t know the impact it has had on kids’ experiences in college…. seems not much has changed from Owen’s account. Koren’s point in sharing her alcohol enmeshed adventures through high school and college seems to be captured in this quote from her introduction:

• “Nine years after I took my first drink, it occurs to me that I haven’t grown up. I am missing so much of the equipment that adults should have, like the ability to sustain eye contact without flinching or letting my gaze roll slantwise to the floor. …I should be able to stop self-censoring and smile when I feel like it. I should recognize happiness when I feel it expand in my gut…. Clinicians report some [of these] women, who seek treatment for alcoholism in their mid-to-late twenties, not only look younger but act younger too…it seems some women’s emotional development arrests as a result of alcohol. They stall at the age they were when they had their first drinks.”

(Smashed, preface, xvii – xviii)

I’ve shared this quote from Zailckas’ book previously, because this theme comes up over and over again. The ““unexpected consequences” aren’t limited to the car accidents, the blank memories, the nasty hang-overs; it’s sadder than that. It’s failure to launch into full adulthood.

Owen Jennings says “I realize that drinking is a way to rebel and revel in the newfound freedom that college brings. But it’s also a veil, a way to manipulate, distort and enhance who we really are.”

Try that line of argument as you talk with your kids about their drinking habits, and please share Owen’s essay and Koren’s book. Let me know if this gets their attention.