Comments on: Texting, Sexting; What’s On Your Teen’s Phone? http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/ Tips and Tools for Successfully Parenting your Teen Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:39:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Jeff http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/comment-page-1/#comment-2902 Jeff Sat, 06 Nov 2010 14:42:59 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/#comment-2902 So many parents are cowards today. So worried about "pushing them away." Children need boundaries and that's a parents job to provide them. I read so much about how how open communication and explaining the consequences is vital to curtailing this behavior in our children. That's all good and well, and we should do all of that. But ask yourself, did knowing the facts always prohibit you from doing something stupid when you were a kid? Did knowing the consequences stop you from having sex, doing drugs, etc? God gave kids parents to stand guard between what a kid knows is wrong and what a kid will do anyway. It's your job to monitor and set up boundaries to protect them. They might get past those boundaries anyway but at least you're doing the best you can to protect them. There is a simple way to help kids stop sexting that nobody has the courage to state simply. YOU CAN SIMPLY TURN OFF TEXTING! The reason nobody wants to state this is because we care about supplying our kids with the things they love and cherish more than protecting them. We have become a soft society of people who act based on emotion not on rational thought, truth, and principle. Texting is a great tool and I wouldn't want to live without it. However, there are many tools that are great and but I only put them into my child's hand when they are age appropriate. The fact that sexting is such a big problem with our tweens and teens is only proof that they are not mature enough to handle that tool. This is the conclusion I have come to after looking at this issue rationally. I found out about sexting when I caught my perfect 13 year old daughter sneaking out of the house to meet a boyfriend I knew nothing about after having a lengthy text session about all the things they were thinking about doing together. Luckily, that discovery probably prevented her from losing her virginity. Wake up people, the can live without texting and we need to be parents. Please let me know if I'm off base here. So many parents are cowards today. So worried about “pushing them away.” Children need boundaries and that’s a parents job to provide them. I read so much about how how open communication and explaining the consequences is vital to curtailing this behavior in our children. That’s all good and well, and we should do all of that. But ask yourself, did knowing the facts always prohibit you from doing something stupid when you were a kid? Did knowing the consequences stop you from having sex, doing drugs, etc?

God gave kids parents to stand guard between what a kid knows is wrong and what a kid will do anyway. It’s your job to monitor and set up boundaries to protect them. They might get past those boundaries anyway but at least you’re doing the best you can to protect them.

There is a simple way to help kids stop sexting that nobody has the courage to state simply. YOU CAN SIMPLY TURN OFF TEXTING! The reason nobody wants to state this is because we care about supplying our kids with the things they love and cherish more than protecting them. We have become a soft society of people who act based on emotion not on rational thought, truth, and principle.

Texting is a great tool and I wouldn’t want to live without it. However, there are many tools that are great and but I only put them into my child’s hand when they are age appropriate. The fact that sexting is such a big problem with our tweens and teens is only proof that they are not mature enough to handle that tool. This is the conclusion I have come to after looking at this issue rationally.

I found out about sexting when I caught my perfect 13 year old daughter sneaking out of the house to meet a boyfriend I knew nothing about after having a lengthy text session about all the things they were thinking about doing together. Luckily, that discovery probably prevented her from losing her virginity.

Wake up people, the can live without texting and we need to be parents.

Please let me know if I’m off base here.

]]> By: Sue Blaney http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/comment-page-1/#comment-1912 Sue Blaney Wed, 22 Jul 2009 21:58:57 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/#comment-1912 You are so welcome, Tonya! Thanks for your comment.... it really is amazing all the new issues parents are facing that weren't even dealt with a few short years ago. We'll learn together and help one another out....but when in doubt, trust your instincts and stick with the basics. enjoy.... You are so welcome, Tonya! Thanks for your comment…. it really is amazing all the new issues parents are facing that weren’t even dealt with a few short years ago. We’ll learn together and help one another out….but when in doubt, trust your instincts and stick with the basics. enjoy….

]]> By: Tonya http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/comment-page-1/#comment-1911 Tonya Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:19:21 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/#comment-1911 This is all new to me, but I am finding out that I am not the only one who has this problem. And it was nice to go to this website and get great information on a situation I didn't quite know how to address. Thank you for all the great advise. This is all new to me, but I am finding out that I am not the only one who has this problem. And it was nice to go to this website and get great information on a situation I didn’t quite know how to address.

Thank you for all the great advise.

]]> By: Jason Kallio http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/comment-page-1/#comment-1401 Jason Kallio Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:07:52 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/#comment-1401 Susie, Those are great solutions. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience. I don't need to recreate the wheel. Susie,

Those are great solutions. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience. I don’t need to recreate the wheel.

]]> By: Susie http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/comment-page-1/#comment-1397 Susie Fri, 13 Mar 2009 03:41:05 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/#comment-1397 Jason, Since your girls are little I would give you future advice. From the moment they get their cell phone, have them turn it into you at night or turn it off at home. It is easier to get in the habit at first than rein it in later. I absolutely did turn off my daughter's texting for nine month. We've been trying to work on a compromise for the past 3 months because she's a great kid, honor student, hard working, and respectful and my hope was to help her learn appropriate boundaries before she's in college(just 2 years away). My son is 11 and I may never give him texting. It is just so addicting in nature and we may turn off my daughters again. Most parents don't realize they can TOTALLY SHUT OFF TEXTING FOR FREE. They pay for unlimited because they worry about overages on their bill. There is also a feature that will allow parents to set specific times a kid can use their phone. THAT being said, I totally support your comment. As parents we shoot ourselves in the foot when we pay for something that causes them to check out of family life. Jason,
Since your girls are little I would give you future advice. From the moment they get their cell phone, have them turn it into you at night or turn it off at home. It is easier to get in the habit at first than rein it in later. I absolutely did turn off my daughter’s texting for nine month. We’ve been trying to work on a compromise for the past 3 months because she’s a great kid, honor student, hard working, and respectful and my hope was to help her learn appropriate boundaries before she’s in college(just 2 years away). My son is 11 and I may never give him texting. It is just so addicting in nature and we may turn off my daughters again. Most parents don’t realize they can TOTALLY SHUT OFF TEXTING FOR FREE. They pay for unlimited because they worry about overages on their bill. There is also a feature that will allow parents to set specific times a kid can use their phone. THAT being said, I totally support your comment. As parents we shoot ourselves in the foot when we pay for something that causes them to check out of family life.

]]> By: Jason Kallio http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/comment-page-1/#comment-1395 Jason Kallio Thu, 12 Mar 2009 23:19:32 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/#comment-1395 I'm confused. My girls are still little. What you are all saying is scary to me. However, if you feel the texting is a detriment to their quality of life and development, why do you pay for it? I’m confused. My girls are still little. What you are all saying is scary to me. However, if you feel the texting is a detriment to their quality of life and development, why do you pay for it?

]]> By: Michelle http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/comment-page-1/#comment-1392 Michelle Sun, 08 Mar 2009 16:37:41 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/#comment-1392 My two sons 12.5 & 14 never stop with their texting, answering the phone, and listening to the ipod. I can barely speak to them anymore. We have made rules that there are no phones during meals. We make the boys turn in their phones at bedtime but they sneak downstairs and take them to bed and text late into the night. When I speak to them in the car they can't hear me and there are very little times for communication. When I limit computer use I am a "jerk" and whatever else they want to call me. The go from one screen to the next. No longer reading or drawing. They will not allow me to see their Facebook page - not even to comment on pictures I see. When I ask who someone is they say my friends and switch the screen. itunes is on whenever they do homework and it's distracting them. It seems every day - every minute it is a fight to lay down any rules to homework. They say they work better with music in the background but I find them scrolling through the album covers and onto Facebook every other 5 mins. It is becoming a way of life to constantly be on their back. It seems it will only get worse. My two sons 12.5 & 14 never stop with their texting, answering the phone, and listening to the ipod. I can barely speak to them anymore. We have made rules that there are no phones during meals. We make the boys turn in their phones at bedtime but they sneak downstairs and take them to bed and text late into the night.
When I speak to them in the car they can’t hear me and there are very little times for communication.
When I limit computer use I am a “jerk” and whatever else they want to call me. The go from one screen to the next. No longer reading or drawing. They will not allow me to see their Facebook page – not even to comment on pictures I see. When I ask who someone is they say my friends and switch the screen. itunes is on whenever they do homework and it’s distracting them. It seems every day – every minute it is a fight to lay down any rules to homework. They say they work better with music in the background but I find them scrolling through the album covers and onto Facebook every other 5 mins.
It is becoming a way of life to constantly be on their back. It seems it will only get worse.

]]> By: Susie http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/comment-page-1/#comment-1391 Susie Sat, 07 Mar 2009 21:53:47 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2009/03/05/texting-sexting-whats-on-your-teens-phone/#comment-1391 Sue, I have been struggling with texting for over a year now. My 14 year old, hard working, honor student, daughter became involved with a 18 boy because it was easy for them to communicate via texting and become close in a short amount of time. She lost her texting for about 9 months. As soon as she got it back another texting relationship developed that led her to spend all her spare time using her thumbs. She quickly gave up leisure activities such as free reading and chose watching tv as it allowed her to text. The last two months we tried giving her a budget and shut the texting off after it was reached and we have her turn in her phone at 9:30. Her homework time was interrupted on average every 3 minutes with a text. This month we offered to give her unlimited texting if she could come up with a plan that addressed our concerns. We are still in negotiations, but one of her suggestions is no texting on Sunday. I feel like these poor kids need some down time and they don't know how to give it to themselves. I am amazed at how many parents are not concerned about the massive amounts of time kids spend texting. My daughter will be 16 shortly and perhaps limiting this is over parenting, but is it really best to allow kids to be connected to their friends 24/7. I am very curious how other parents monitor the content of texting. For the most part we don't check, feeling it is an invasion of privacy. Is anyone else limiting texting? I am obviously conflicted. Sue,

I have been struggling with texting for over a year now. My 14 year old, hard working, honor student, daughter became involved with a 18 boy because it was easy for them to communicate via texting and become close in a short amount of time. She lost her texting for about 9 months. As soon as she got it back another texting relationship developed that led her to spend all her spare time using her thumbs. She quickly gave up leisure activities such as free reading and chose watching tv as it allowed her to text. The last two months we tried giving her a budget and shut the texting off after it was reached and we have her turn in her phone at 9:30. Her homework time was interrupted on average every 3 minutes with a text. This month we offered to give her unlimited texting if she could come up with a plan that addressed our concerns. We are still in negotiations, but one of her suggestions is no texting on Sunday. I feel like these poor kids need some down time and they don’t know how to give it to themselves. I am amazed at how many parents are not concerned about the massive amounts of time kids spend texting.
My daughter will be 16 shortly and perhaps limiting this is over parenting, but is it really best to allow kids to be connected to their friends 24/7. I am very curious how other parents monitor the content of texting. For the most part we don’t check, feeling it is an invasion of privacy. Is anyone else limiting texting? I am obviously conflicted.

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