Comments on: FEAR and Parenting Teenagers http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2008/11/12/fear-and-parenting-teenagers/ Tips and Tools for Successfully Parenting your Teen Sat, 20 Mar 2010 11:07:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Elizabeth Campbell Duke http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2008/11/12/fear-and-parenting-teenagers/comment-page-1/#comment-1828 Elizabeth Campbell Duke Sun, 21 Jun 2009 20:02:53 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2008/11/12/fear-and-parenting-teenagers/#comment-1828 Thank you for this, and your other articles. I became a teacher in my late 30s before I married and acquired 2 teenage step-sons. I saw the effects of helicopter parenting before I became a step-mom, and I've also worked with "at risk" kids who come from families with lots of their own troubles - often more the opposite of a helicopter parent. I am so glad to see these resources to help parents learn to listen to their teens, and work towards that difficult day when the kids have to leave the nest - hopefully capable of looking after themselves properly. Thank you for this, and your other articles. I became a teacher in my late 30s before I married and acquired 2 teenage step-sons.

I saw the effects of helicopter parenting before I became a step-mom, and I’ve also worked with “at risk” kids who come from families with lots of their own troubles – often more the opposite of a helicopter parent.

I am so glad to see these resources to help parents learn to listen to their teens, and work towards that difficult day when the kids have to leave the nest – hopefully capable of looking after themselves properly.

]]> By: Sue Blaney http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2008/11/12/fear-and-parenting-teenagers/comment-page-1/#comment-1253 Sue Blaney Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:16:18 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2008/11/12/fear-and-parenting-teenagers/#comment-1253 Tamar, thanks for your comment. I like the way you distinguish between "preparing" and "scaring." This applies to so many things! And thanks for passing along your resources! Tamar, thanks for your comment. I like the way you distinguish between “preparing” and “scaring.” This applies to so many things! And thanks for passing along your resources!

]]> By: tamarchansky http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2008/11/12/fear-and-parenting-teenagers/comment-page-1/#comment-1251 tamarchansky Thu, 13 Nov 2008 00:11:38 +0000 http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2008/11/12/fear-and-parenting-teenagers/#comment-1251 Dear Sue, Bravo! As a child psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders in kids, I say over and over each day to parents, that anxiety management is a two-person job. Parents have a lot they are afraid of these days, but unfortunately parenting from a standpoint of fear only perpetuates more fear. In my book, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, I have a chapter about "Dealing With Real Life Fears," there I help parents distinguish between "preparing" kids for how to be safe in situations for example, vs. "scaring" kids by emphasizing the dangers of these situations. It makes all the difference. So whether it is dealing with strangers, or as in your example of making a decision that haunts her for the rest of her life, parents need to put the oxygen mask on themselves first-- shrink their anxieties down so that they can actually be helpful to their kids rather than perpetuating the cycle of fear. Thank you for this great article! To read excerpts of my books (there is a new one on helping parents build resilience and flexibility in their kids-- Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking) readers can check out www.freeingyourchild.com All best, Tamar Dear Sue,
Bravo! As a child psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders in kids, I say over and over each day to parents, that anxiety management is a two-person job. Parents have a lot they are afraid of these days, but unfortunately parenting from a standpoint of fear only perpetuates more fear. In my book, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, I have a chapter about “Dealing With Real Life Fears,” there I help parents distinguish between “preparing” kids for how to be safe in situations for example, vs. “scaring” kids by emphasizing the dangers of these situations. It makes all the difference. So whether it is dealing with strangers, or as in your example of making a decision that haunts her for the rest of her life, parents need to put the oxygen mask on themselves first– shrink their anxieties down so that they can actually be helpful to their kids rather than perpetuating the cycle of fear.

Thank you for this great article! To read excerpts of my books (there is a new one on helping parents build resilience and flexibility in their kids– Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking) readers can check out http://www.freeingyourchild.com

All best,
Tamar

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