Worried About Your Teen’s Poor Grades?

Most parents fret if you see a lack of motivation from your teen in regards to school. Your reactions often range from bafflement to fury, as you cajole, tease and punish your teens into doing better. But sometimes, your teen’s poor performance may be indicative of a problem that has been hiding beneath the radar screen. There are many factors that may contribute to an apparent lack of motivation, and it’s tricky business to try and discern whether this is a temporary problem that will pass, or a more serious one requiring major intervention. Let’s examine some of the possible causes for lack of motivation:

• Difficulty accepting authority: Teens who have difficulty with authority may resist it in school, even in some ways that are quite obviously self-defeating. A school setting requires adherence to rules and routine, which works against some kids’ very temperaments.
• Learning disabilities, ADD and ADHD: It is not uncommon for learning disabilities and other issues to crop up in secondary school. As the curriculum becomes more challenging, teenagers who were previously able to cope in spite of unrecognized disabilities my find themselves much more challenged.
• Peer rejection: Teenagers who are different from the valued norm in school can be treated cruelly. Once labeled as a loser or outsider, teens may withdraw and choose not to engage or compete.
• Poor self-esteem: Teens who think negatively about themselves may choose not to compete. Whether to prove they are not capable, or because they fear that if they do try they will fail, poor self-esteem often presents as lack of motivation.
• Substance abuse: Teenagers who are involved with alcohol and drugs can see their motivation be sapped by the distractions and negative appeal of this lifestyle. It becomes a cycle that drags them downward as they spend time under the influence and with friends who share this value and priority.
• Negative influence from peers: Teenagers are influenced by peers and tend to engage in similar activities as the peers with whom they hang out. If a teens friends are disengaged from school, your teen may be at risk for similar behavior. It isn’t easy to discern which comes first, the disillusionment with school or the friends who share this feeling, but these kids often do become reliant on one another for support as they check out of the system.
• Family stress: Family problems impact kids, no matter how hard adults may try to keep them separate. Issues of abuse, alcohol problems, marital or financial problems…they can’t help but spill over, impacting kids of all ages.
• Lack of a positive vision for the future: Teenagers who do not have an optimistic vision for their future may not have enough of a reason to care about school. If they cannot see a connection between effort and results, if they don’t understand what elements influence one’s success, if they don’t see value in education, they may have little reason to try hard.
• Average potential: not everyone is going to be an intellectual star. Very bright and successful parents can have children who are not at the top of their class academically. And surely these very same kids have other attributes that can lead to a successful and happy adulthood.

What can parents do to address poor motivation? The first step needs to be an accurate diagnosis about what is behind this behavior and why. This can best be done in concert with the school, and it’s wise to begin with the school counselor. A school counselor will gather data from the various teachers and help you to piece together the various puzzle-parts. Together, and hopefully with your teenager’s participation, you can decipher the sources of the problem and develop strategies to help him get back on track.

Keep in mind, that no child wants to fail. A teenager who is doing poorly in school can’t be feeling good about himself. If the problems are getting so severe that you need to work with the school to address them, try and express an attitude that demonstrates to your teenager that you are one his side, not that you are the enemy. You don’t want this dialogue to become a contest of wills.

Possible actions to take:

• Whenever possible, try and let your teenager take the initiative and be in charge. Obviously, for younger teens and those in serious trouble, parents may need to intervene more, but keep the ultimate goal of self-sufficiency in mind.
• Make sure that your home environment supports your teen’s efforts in school. She needs a consistent and appropriate place to study. She may benefit from your help in establishing and keeping to a schedule. If she cannot manage this herself, support her efforts.
• When monitoring your teen’s progress, communicate with the school. Parents should not be the primary overseer here, but rather, manage this in conjunction with teachers, counselors, or others from the school. Many find that weekly progress reports help facilitate communication and give the student an appropriate amount of supervision.
• Many schools offer peer support groups. Kids will often accept help from their peers, and well managed programs can be a “win” for all involved.
• Get a tutor. Another teaching method, another voice, more one-on-one instruction may do wonders for bringing a child along when she is facing difficulty.
• Hold your teen accountable. Let him know if he doesn’t deliver on agreed-upon goals he’ll be attending summer school to make it up.

  Some of the reasons behind poor motivation that we’ve pointed out may be serious and will require professional assistance. If your child, or family for that matter, needs a therapist or special counselor, don’t hesitate to find one. Again, the school can recommend appropriate resources, as can your health professionals.

Remember that doing well in school is not only important in its own right, it is an indication of your child’s overall health and well-being.