Changing Cultural Expectations of Teens and Alcohol Use
September 12th, 2008 by Sue Blaney
“Changing the culture” sounds about as likely as moving Mt Everest, doesn’t it? Frustrated prevention specialists complain about the parents who feel teens’ drinking is a rite of passage and to be expected. Too many parents have the “Well, I survived it and my teenager will too” attitude, or an “It’s inevitable” attitude…how many times have you heard that from other parents? One school-based official even told of the mom of a graduating senior who called the school to find out where the keg party was being held!
Let’s be realistic; we live in an alcohol-soaked culture, and drinking plays a part in the lives of a vast number of Americans. But don’t for a minute think that changing culture is impossible. It’s happening before our eyes every day! Smoking in public, drinking and driving, tolerating bullying…. our culture has seen major shifts in the past dozen years. Culture and opinions do change, and it is not inevitable that teenagers drink alcohol. We must continue to move this mountain. To throw up your hands and cry “not possible” is to irresponsibly leave teens open to the whims of, well, teens. This is not a good idea.
Parents tell us that their confidence in their ability to influence their teens’ use of drugs and alcohol begins to wane as their kids enter the teen years. Yet data also shows that parents are the single biggest influence in kids abusing alcohol and drugs. What’s missing here? Why the disconnect? Is it because parents want to be friends with their teens? Is it because parents lack the skills or knowledge? Is it because the teens are refusing to listen to parents?
It may be a combination of all three…but parents, you must realize the power of your voice and your influence. Sometimes accessing and using your influence feels heavy-handed to parents, and you don’t like to come down too hard on your teens. What if teens are counting on you to keep them safe? What if they know they aren’t always able to make good choices? Take a lesson from the comments from the young adults in our survey-based report PARENTING TEENS: The Agony & The Ecstasy. These young adults - who were recently teens themselves - made it very clear that they looked to their parents to keep them safe. These twenty-somethings were saying they may not have liked curfews and rules, but that by keeping a lid on things parents kept their kids safe. Don’t kid yourself about being your teen’s friend; your job is much more important than that!
Parents, you can do this. And we can change your cultural expectation of teens drinking. If we keep at it slowly and deliberately we will make progress. The Partnership for A Drug Free America has taken on this challenge, head on. And they approach the role of parents with such respect and consideration - I just love their materials…they even offer a tool kit to help you. Do check them out. Oh, and you might note that I’m guest-blogging there this month.
Category: Tips and Tools, Teens: Alcohol & Drugs, Parenting Teens | 1 Comment »
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