When You Don’t See Eye-to-Eye

How do you resolve it when you don’t see eye- to eye?

My twenty-year-old and I are facing an issue, and things aren’t pretty right here right now. I guess it was bound to happen; the summer “honeymoon” with the kids home (23, 20) has been heaven on earth so far. I knew the bubble would burst, and it has. Life goes on… “joy and woe are woven fine.” Indeed.

How do you resolve it when you just don’t see eye to eye on an issue? This isn’t really a place where compromise is an option; and the chasm between my point of view and hers is rather deep.

When I try to broach our difficult topic I try to follow all the rules….I speak slowly and calmly; I sit down next to her; I use “I” statements that tell her how I feel; I ask her how she feels and what she thinks is the best solution.

Guess what happens? It’s such a sensitive topic she accuses me of being judgmental and inflexible, of saying things I haven’t said. I don’t see it that way.

But that’s just the point. We don’t see it the way the other sees it.

Will this issue take care of itself if we do nothing? I suppose. Life goes on. Is it important that I try again to get her to hear what I’m trying to say? Maybe. Am I hearing what she has to say? I think so. She doesn’t.

Like I said; we don’t see eye to eye.

Families don’t always resolve things into nice neat little packages, do we?

Life goes on.