This is powerful information to have…and parents need to pay attention.

A momentary walk on any high school campus will illustrate the wide disparity between the physical development of freshman boys and upper classmen. The challenge some parents with girls face is their freshman girls look much further developed than their male counterparts …thereby earning them attention of the older boys. This may be flattering and exciting for girls, but smart parents will keep firm rules about how far new relationships with older boys may go. No matter what they look like on the outside, freshmen and seniors are worlds apart developmentally.

Don’t think you have to say “yes” to all your high-school-aged daughter’s requests; you don’t. In fact, she may not show it now, but she is counting on you to make the tough calls. She is counting on you to keep her safe. She wants you to know what is going on so she doesn’t get in to situations she can’t handle.

Keep her reasonably supervised. Know where she is, and with whom. Don’t let her hang out with kids that are a lot older than she is.

Note:

By involving yourself in your child’s middle or high school you are showing him or her that you value education. When you attend school events you are demonstrating commitment to education. This may be one of the most powerful ways to instill this value in your teen.

Students with parents who are involved in their school tend to have better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems, and they are more likely to complete high school.

The relationships you develop at school will give you information and insight as to your teen’s world, friendships, and the expectations your child is faced with.

Your involvement lets the school staff know that you value education and that you are someone with whom they can have a relationship. This can have a direct and positive effect on your child’s educational experience.

Should issues arise at the school, or with your child, you will already have relationships with people there that can help you.

Schools need your help. Schools are often understaffed due to tight budgets and they can use your help in many ways.

It can be fun, and in addition to finding new ways to use your skills, you will make new friends in your community.

The more in touch you are with your community, and your child’s friends and friends’ families, the more you are able to knowledgeably support your teen.

If you want to see change, the best way to impact it is to be involved from the inside.

You can learn new skills through your involvement in school.

What’s the right level of involvement? Much of this will depend on you and your teenager; it would be wrong to say there is a right way and a wrong way. Here are a few guidelines:

• Read all the paperwork that comes home from your teen’s school. Have a sense of what is going on there; keep all phone numbers, calendars, bus info, and contact information handy.
• Be sure to attend the school open house usually offered in the fall. It is important to meet your child’s teachers, and this venue provides the best way to do so in most cases.
• If your child has particular issues, it is appropriate to discuss these with your teenager’s guidance counselor and/or teachers. Work with the school to address issues; they can guide you about working within their system.
• Viewing your teenager’s assignment notebook regularly can be an excellent way to stay informed about school assignments without being over-bearing.
• If your child is participating in school sports or other activities, be sure to attend the games. This provides you with the opportunity to meet other parents and some of your teen’s new friends.

If your teenager doesn’t want you to be highly visible in school activities it’s important to find other ways to be involved.
Here are some approaches you can consider:

• What do you do well? If you are comfortable writing, offer to write a piece for the school website or newsletter.
• Contact the PTO and offer your services to help them. If you like to cook, offer to prepare a dish for an upcoming event. If you’re a whiz with the computer, they’ll find you a job. Be creative with them in finding an appropriate answer that fits your schedule.
• The PTO often has a person who is assigned to gather volunteer names, information about their interests, and serve as a liaison. Touch base with this person; get your name on some lists.
• If you are more comfortable with collating or copying papers or doing office work, school staff may soon be fighting over you! Let them know your availability.
• If working at home or at night fits your schedule best, let the volunteer organizers know this. They can direct you to appropriate opportunities and will be grateful for your help.
  

At a minimum, go to all the school events that you can. Get your name on the mailing lists for all announcements. When they need help, be there. And be involved. You need to pick up the phone and make it happen; don’t wait for them to call you.

Parent involvement: it’s still your responsibility even when your teenagers enter secondary school, and it makes a difference in your teen’s success.

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