The prospect of being “empty nesters” brings parents both joy and angst – and it’s not unusual for both emotions to exist simultaneously. Let’s face it, this is a big change in your life and it’s okay to recognize that. Let’s discuss how you can manage this change positively while minimizing your angst:

1: Your attitude and expectations matter: Your expectations will have an impact on they way you experience this change. If you expect pain and sadness, you’re sure to find it. Manage your expectations and emotional state as much as possible; look for the positives, celebrate your success and feel the joy this new freedom can bring.

2: Create new fun. Branch out and learn something new: You now have opportunities to spend your time differently. Think creatively and engage in something new and exciting for yourself. Take ballroom dance lessons, revive your rusty piano skills, focus on losing that extra weight, take gourmet cooking lessons – this is the time to step out of your comfort zone!

3: Keep up with old friends in new ways: You are less likely to see friends on the side of the soccer field or at school-related events. It will take a little extra work to stay connected with friends in your community, but you can create ways to deepen the friendships and expand them. Create a monthly dinner group, book group or club to stay connected.

4: Appreciate your neat house and your full refrigerator! Your home may feel too quiet at times, but there won’t be annoying clutter unless it’s from you. Appreciate the positives brought by this change. You only have to pick up after yourself, and you’re not competing with anyone for those fresh strawberries in the fridge!

5: Be involved – appropriately – in your college student’s new life: Make it a point to know some details about your college student’s experiences on campus. Spend some time reading about the transition your child is going through as a college freshman so you’ll be prepared to support her through some possible rough spots. Don’t hover, but be there to support him when it is needed. Be informed about available support services on campus and get the roommates’ cell phone numbers as a contact back-up. Read the communication that is sent to you from the college.

6: Give in to your feelings of loss – occasionally. There may be times the quiet house will get to you. This is a major life transition; giving in to your feelings, even the painful ones, is the best way to progress through this change. Don’t wallow there, but give yourself the opportunity to express and feel what is inside…then go back to items 2, 3 and 4 above.

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