Comments on: Teenagers Lying: Why It Happens and What Parents Can Do

By: Donna

Donna — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:27:32 +0000

Oh my God, your statements hit the nail on the head. My 15 year old has gone crazy. Nasty, lies at times, tells me to leave him alone and shut up, disrespectful, angry and then can turn around and be a baby. I hope I live thru this one…I can’t give up.

By: Machelle

Machelle — Tue, 15 May 2007 17:42:45 +0000

My teenager lies about doing his homework. When he does his homework, he usually receives good grade for those. Then for some reason, he wont do assignments and receive zeros causing him to get D’s and F’s. I started checking his grades every week and talking with his teachers almost every week. He knows I do this and that he doesn’t get away with it cause i always make him do the assignment anyway. I have consistently done this all year and yet today, he is still lying about doing his homework. WHY? and HOW CAN I STOP IT???

By: Karen

Karen — Thu, 17 May 2007 16:55:12 +0000

I just had to respond after seeing Machelle’s post. We are living the same life! We have figured out that we cannot believe our son at all when he says he does his homework. He now has to get his agenda initialed everyday/weekly progress report etc. Also, we email his teachers so he doesn’t get away with it, but he still does it! He has no motivation and doesn’t seem to care!! Dealing with our almost 14 year old is becoming a very difficult job!

By: Tricia

Tricia — Sat, 19 May 2007 13:01:56 +0000

I think sometimes kids lying increases when parents are too involved. And I struggle daily to not be too involved! My teens also do not tell the truth about homework because they do not want to deal with my reaction. I have found it works better in my house to just deal with the results of their missed or late homework. When they have a missed or late assignment or a poor grade (when I know they could have done better) the consequences are no TV or IM for the week or sometimes not going out with friends on the weekend. This takes me out of the loop somewhat as they know the consequences beforehand.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 23 May 2007 00:41:13 +0000

Machelle and Karen, my husband and I feel your pain. It is like you are describing our 14 year old daughter. Have you gotten any advice you have found to be helpful?

By: Alison

Alison — Mon, 28 May 2007 02:22:28 +0000

This is a very interesting article. I hope that there is a follow-up article describing how to stop this behavior. My daughter is also lying about homework and we have set up the same monitoring system!!! Guess what…she is 13!! At least I feel better that we are not the only ones!

By: Julie

Julie — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 02:20:17 +0000

Where is the answer to the lying about homework? My almost 13 year old daughter is just the same! HELP US!

By: Darbi

Darbi — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 22:58:14 +0000

Hopefully someone will read this response since I didn’t see any new postings since May. I too have the same issues with my now 13yr old son and unfortunately, his 17 yr old sister has lied about many things and in trouble with the law. Their father (ex to me) has similar traits…hence ex. However, my children I know are exploring their boundaries, however, their father says to not be upset by it. He says he doesn’t agree but that is what they do. I took away my sons electronics for sneaking alcohol at my house with his friends and his father thought I was being harsh and allowed him to use electronics at his house. Then today, one week back at his father’s house, his father lets him go skiing and take a school day off, when I called my son..I could hear the in the background that he wasn’t at his dad’s house. He lied and said he was talking to his dad on his dad’s deck and he didn’t feel well so he didn’t go to school. I called his dad and his dad said that it wasn’t right that he lied, however, he knew that I would be upset. His father doesn’t respect what I am doing with my kids and I think this is a scary behavior that I am extremely concerned about. I understand kids finding their independence…but what do you do when they start lying for others,,such as parents too. God, I have gone through a nightmare already with my daughter…and the patterns are coming up with my son. I am so bummed. Does anyone have suggestions? I have been fighting similar issues with my ex for 4years and the trust for my son is now has been jeopardized. I am tired of negotiating…what happened to discipline. My mother or father would never stand for this stuff….and frankly I didn’t try a lot of anything for fear of them. I am afraid that all this negotiation is breaking down our morals and ethics for the future generation. I understand trying boundaries…but this was a blatant lie …2nd lie in a week. I am losing my faith from previous events in this family. The ex won’t go to counseling because he doesn’t think there is a problem. My heart broke a bit today when my son told me this today, especially when he knew how sensitive I am to lies in this family. I won’t see him till Monday and I am at a loss today as to what to say to him. I am hurt and don’t understand the deceit. I am a believer in taking responsibility for your actions and he knows it. He is afraid of me taking his father to court, however, doesn’t this behavior make it worse by protecting his father’s decision to let him do something that he knew I would be upset over and risking his own integrity. (My son is just as much at fault by knowing this was not going to be acceptable, but his father will cover for him too and see no problem in it.) My son and I have worked together very hard over the last two months to get his grades up and do well. Then the one week his father has him….he lets him play. My biggest issue with him doing these kind of things is that now my son will be behind a day that he can’t afford to lose after working so hard. Rewards shouldn’t compromise school and other responsibilities…in my opinion. sorry for carrying on ….I am so frustrated and at a loss in my logic and my heart. Had to get it out.

By: Kim

Kim — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:41:50 +0000

I ask for the same answer, to the lying about the homework situation. We have taken things away from him and grounded him and have done the same things as mentioned in other peoples responses to no avail. He says we are being unfair and making his life miserable. Has there been an article published yet concerning this issue? Or has anyone found anything that has worked? Please share anything you can. Obviously there are alot of parents dealing with their children lying to them about the homework issue.