The arrival of spring brings many opportunities for teens to celebrate at parties, proms and graduations. Parents want their teens to enjoy these special times, but we know that these celebrations can turn deadly in an instant. I’ve prepared a short questionnaire that you can use to assess your teen’s likelihood to engage in risky behavior along with 10 tips to help you keep your teen safe. Click for full story.

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Are you looking forward to a summer that is productive and fun for your teen, or are you dreading a summer filled with too much free time and mis-adventures? With some forethought and planning, you can ensure the former, which will set YOU up for more relaxation and pleasure.

Here’s a list of suggestions to get you thinking and exploring opportunities for your teen in your community. Have your teen…

• take a class to learn a new skill - drawing,
  sculpting, music, a new craft or new computer application.
• check out enrichment classes offered in summer
  school, community ed or even local colleges.
• look into available summer classes and programs
  offered at area museums or cultural centers.
• volunteer to work with kids, elders, or to usher
  events at cultural centers.
• visit the SPCA to learn about their volunteer
  opportunities.
• introduce himself to the senior centers in town.
  They may love an extra pair of hands -
  especially youthful ones.
• Look into the offerings from your community park
  and rec programs. Depending on the age of your
  teen, there may be opportunities both to participate
  and to be leaders or counselors.
• find out about the Bible studies or other religious
  study groups offered by your church or temple.
• sign up for camp. Sports camps, drama camps,
  arts camps… many kinds are available to help kids
  learn new skills and enhance talents.
• babysit in your neighborhood.
• use all those dance lessons by starting a
  neighborhood dance camp for little ones.
• take drivers ed during the summer so you don’t
  have to fit it in during the school year.
• tutor reading or math for younger children.
• take lifeguard training.
• commit to spending a day a week with a
  grandparent, helping with household
  chores.
• develop a childcare/babysitting or art
  program at a local pool club.
• get a job! Summer is a great time to get a job
  that will develop responsibility, make money, and
  learn new skills. It’s not too late to apply - but don’t
  wait!

That list just a start. I hope it gets your creative juices going so you can plan ahead and find the right balance of productive busy-ness and relaxing down-time for both you and your teenager.

Have any other good ideas? Post them here and we’ll expand our list for other parents and teenagers.

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Here are some quotes from four 21 year olds…they are experts because they were recently teenagers, and because they all now have great relationships with their parents. If you’re parenting a teenager these words may help to guide you: “Listen to your teens and try to help them through difficult situations that they may be confronted with. Keep your relationship with your teens honest and open so that your teens feel like they can come to you with problems, or talk to you about things going on in their lives.” (Kristy, from MN)

“If you want to know your kids, don’t make hard core rules about drinking and smoking and sex, talk to them honestly about the subjects because just cuz your parents tell you not to drink doesn’t mean you won’t. Most of the kids I know who are irresponsible about drinking have parents who think they are angels.” (male, from MA)

“Be open to what your child has going on in their life. Try to talk to them about it but if they aren’t cooperating then give it more time. At the same time keep a leash on the situation that doesn’t tamper with their social surroundings too much.” (Eric, from MA)

“I think that it is critical for parents to be listening to their children. It is hard with teens because teens always think that their parents don’t want them to have fun or have a life, but parents need to try and talk the rules out. I can not stress enough that yelling will only make things escalate and will make teens want to rebel more. Parents need to be authoritative but willing to listen and compromise.” (Courtney from MA)

Pretty great advice, don’t you think? These young adults have participated in my survey Three Sides of the Coin. Complete survey results will be released shortly, so stay tuned and put yourself on the mailing list so you won’t miss these rich nuggets!

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While young teen girls’ parents complain about our culture’s obsession with sex and provocative dress, informed parents must also realize that cause and effect aren’t always linked in the ways one might first conclude. Yes, your daughter pushes the envelope as she bares her midriff and other body parts you’d prefer she leave cloaked, but is there an inherent danger in her preferred manner of dress? Is her desire to dress fashionably linked to risky and dangerous behavior? Not necessarily. Dressing fashionably may be just that, the desire to be in fashion.

Kerry Howley, at Reason Online reports on the American Psychological Association’s report “Task Force on the Sexualization of Young Girls” in her article Invasion of the Prostitots: Cultural Warriors Decry the Sexualization of Girls. But Where’s the Proof There’s a Problem? Juxtaposing the APA’s anecdotal evidence against real figures on teenage pregnancy, abortion and rape, [all down signficiantly] and further comparing them to real increases in girls’ achievement makes a point worth considering.

And I say “bravo” to the Boulder Mom who shared a recent conversation she’s had with her peers: “…this “let them wear whatever” is fabulous. It’s taken so much stress off of our mornings. In case any of you have witnessed my daughter at school, it’s hard not to believe that those skinny legs aren’t freezing the last 2 days in shorts, but hey, have at it kid!.”

Yes, we could make a case for worrying a bit less at times.

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There comes a time in every parent-teen relationship when trust becomes an issue. While parents tend to focus on evaluating their teen’s overall trustworthiness, a look at some more specific questions may give you tools that will help to rectify behavior problems. Know that this isn’t a simple topic; developmental issues with teens may impact their tendency to lie, along with communication problems in the family. (See my previou