Here’s some insight from a “veteran” parent of teens who says:
“If I could raise my teen again I would listen more. Teens need parents to just listen to their thoughts, joys, fears, dilemmas. We are often too quick to fix things for them. This is not what they need the most from us. They need us to listen and respect their process in learning how to make wise decisions. They are more apt to listen to us if they feel truly heard first.” Paula, MA

Many veteran parents in our survey indicate that if they could do it over again they would spend more time listening and less time talking. Try to enhance your ability to practice “active listening.” This is when you suspend judgment, you focus completely on what your teen is saying rather than preparing your reply, and you tune in to the emotional content as well as the spoken words. Active listening is a learned skill that requires practice. Don’t wait… using this approach will enhance your relationship and will demonstrate how much you care.

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Can you think of a better way to handle this situation? An Oklahoma mother of a 14 year old daughter was tired of the daughter’s poor grades, poor attitude and lack of respect. So she made her daughter stand outside at a busy intersection holding a sign reading: “I don’t do my homework, and I act up in school, so my parents are preparing me for my future.Will Work for Food.” Incredible as it seems, the photo and story was picked up and distributed by the AP wire, so the public humiliation of Coretha Henderson is now extended nationally. Here’s the story:

Can you think of another way a parent in the same situation might handle things? We’d like to hear your thoughts…comment below. (You’ll need to register first. If you need help doing that, click at “posting instructions” in the categories at the right.)

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