Jane, a 24-year-old who lives in Virginia, has some advice for parents of teenagers: “Plan family events and make your teens go. They may say they don’t want to go, but it will be best for them, it will be great for their relationships in the long run, and they will probably end up having fun.”

This is a powerful comment coming from the mouth of a recent teenager, isn’t it? Many parents know that teens sometimes feel imposed upon by family obligations, as they prefer to make their own plans with their friends. But Jane is pointing out that as teens become young adults they realize how very important family relationships are, and they value them highly.

Parents, remember this during the holidays…you may need to push your teens at times to visit those little cousins or Great Aunt Sarah, but your teenager will thank you later. I do suggest you communicate your family’s plans well in advance, so your teenager knows what is expected of her during the holidays. A little advance planning and good communication can help smooth things out and minimize push-back.

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