Jeff Bennett is a respected leader in the internet world,  Founder and COO of NameMedia, Inc.,  and a caring Dad. After several interesting discussions about the important role of digital media in children’s education today, I asked him if he would write a guest post which he kindly provided below. Thanks, Jeff.

We live in an era of rapid technological advancement for computing power, storage capacity, application development, proliferation of wireless networking, digitizing and indexing of what appears to be all information, and so much more.  All of these developments are bringing the cost of computing down.  These developments are enabling the advancement of complex research never possible before.  These developments are altering how we consume and process information for our work, education and entertainment.  These developments are also providing the largest interconnection of the human race since civilization began.  Pretty interesting times we are living in.

There is much to contemplate on how these developments will change society.  I think that the outcome to this question will be dependent on how we as a people “deploy” and “leverage” these advancements.   You can not turn back the hands of time and not accept that all of this is going on.  We must take an activist approach to understanding what is happening and how can we utilize these advancements in our lives.  We must manage this process or it will overwhelm us.

An area that I believe stands to be a huge beneficiary of these advancements is education.  I believe in a traditional curriculum that provides focus on the mastery of reading, writing and ‘rithmatic.  I also believe that these basics must be augmented with exposure and participation in the arts, sciences and athletics to build “well rounded” people.  This has always been the case but I feel it is even more important today.  We are citizens of an interdependent country and world.  This is where I believe technology can really play an important role in education.

There are three distinct areas that I belive technology can really advance education:

1.  Research and access to information. This is the core of all education.  I remember all those long days/nights at libraries searching for information for projects.  I remember my first view into Microsoft’s Encarta that brought the encyclopedia to the desktop with all sorts of graphics, video and links.  Look at what we have today with Google, YouTube, Wikipedia and the millions of web sites that publish and share content.  Sitting down at a computer connected to the web today gives the student access to some of the deepest libraries known to man.  It can be overwhelming…but rather than be overcome by this we need to embrace the tools that will help us manage the access to all of this information.  Can we turn our children loose on this?  No we need to teach what sites to go to, impose controls on the computer and get involved in this process.  The opportunity is limitless though.

2. Use of interactive tools to broaden learning. All of this information gives the teacher an opportunity to broaden the content used in the classroom.  The advancement of technology also offers many new tools for delivering the information and allowing the students to connect/touch/interact with the information.  This comes in many forms like smart boards, multimedia lectures/lessons, video demonstrations and so much more.  This past school year was challenging in the Northeast due to weather then the flu.  In my sons school he had teachers that were using their Macs to create video lessons/demos that the students could then access via the Internet/email.  There is so much opportunity for the use of interactive tools to broaden learning.

3. Connecting to the broader community through collaboration. My generation and my elders have broadly adopted email.  The generations that follow have adopted instant messaging and text messaging widely.  Most of these tools enable one-to-one communication for the most part.  Now we have Twitter which takes the simple 140-character messaging and allows the user to broadcast to their community of friends.   There have also been collaboration tools like Lotus Notes, Intranets and now “Wikis” that allow broad collaboration and communication for communities.  This is another key area for the advancement of education – to enable connection and collaboration with teachers, fellow classmates, researchers and students around the world.  I witnessed the power of a class using Twitter this past school year – it was a glimpse of the power of this kind of communication for learning.  Some of my parent colleagues were upset at the use of this technology.  We celebrate the innovation, creativity and groundbreaking work that these teachers demonstrated.  I hope to see more and more of this in the school year ahead.

These technology advancements are happening.  The tools are available.  Children are coming online in droves through Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Text messaging.  The younger generations are more open to sharing information about themselves and open communication.  This can be good…but only if there is an awareness of “what” to share, “how” to share, and “how” to leverage the massive opportunities available.  Should we as parents embrace this or put our heads in the sand thinking that this will stop?  It can be stressful to work to get involved and then keep up.  Turning your head to avoid the stress is no solution.  I believe it is best to embrace these opportunities.  Work and interact with our children to understand what is available.  We will all learn ourselves.  I commend the teachers that are leveraging technology to advance education…and teaching children the right ways to establish their profiles and communicate.

I was saddened as I sat in a movie theater last weekend; well, “horrified” might be a bit more truthful.  I can choose the movie I see, but I can’t choose the previews I’m forced to sit through. And the previews were so violent and over-the-top in their sensory stimulation I literally had to cover my eyes at times.   Now, I will admit to you that my taste in entertainment runs to the conservative side, and sometimes my kids laugh at me about my wimpishness… but few parents with young teens would have found much of value in anything on that screen. If this is the best our movie industry can do…. it was a sad example of our contemporary culture.

Contrast this with my current audiobook companion, Experience the Power of Grace by Cheryl Richardson.  Richardson offers a unique example of a cultural diet – she rarely watches the news or reads the newspaper.  Rather, she selectively and intentionally chooses the media, information and experiences she allows in,  choosing them on their merits as soul-food.  If they don’t nourish her soul or support her in her “journey to consciousness,” she doesn’t waste her time.  Interesting contrast to what I saw on the big movie screen, and it got me thinking about what we allow ourselves to consume. We do have choices in the matter.

Richardson brings up an important question that is a good one for parents of teenagers to consider:  what does your teenager’s cultural diet consist of? Does it overload him with stimulation, ultimately desensitizing him to his feelings and internal self? Or is there a healthy balance?

My daughter was not a vegetable eater growing up and in numerous discussions with the pediatrician over the years, I was counseled to view her diet on a weekly basis, rather than a daily one. Our doctor’s even-keeled approach helped avoid fights that would lead to self-defeating results.  I’ve learned to take a similar attitude in regards to many issues in raising my kids. Rather than imposing a complete ban on all cultural influences that I felt were unhealthy for them,  we’d more often go with the flow and make choices and decisions as it seemed appropriate.  And without really thinking about it, the experience of over-stimulation from a heavy-duty scary movie was more often than not balanced by quiet time.  Over the course of a week, balance was usually achieved because of my kids’ natural interests.

Think about it: what are the activities and experiences that provide a healthy counter-balance to the more worrisome cultural inputs your teen ingests? What might some of those soothing activities be?  Quiet time. Time outside in nature. Spiritual resources and connections are an important part of their diet. You probably don’t need to shove this down their throats, but rather acting as “facilitator” you can make sure that they get the trip to the beach, the hike in the mountains, and the lazy day off.  Leave the i-pod in the car and suggest they listen for the birds and the wind in the trees.  And don’t forget a visit inside a house of God that will also soothe the soul.

Time outside in nature serves as a major spiritual connection for many of us.  It soothes our psyche and our soul. The miracles that abound there give us peace, perspective and a sense of eternity that reaches us on many levels.  My 24 year old finds such joy in being outdoors he camps out in the Colorado wilderness in all seasons.  It’s his perfect antidote to a high-pressure demanding world, and it helps him stay centered.  (This photo from a winter camping trip came sailing across my screen yesterday…now is that the picture of joy?!)

Even if your teens are spending time ingesting media you don’t like or understand, you can help them find balance by looking at their spectrum of activities over the course of a week.  Do all that you can to make sure they get a varied diet:  some down time, some time in nature, some time to reflect and develop their inner and spiritual world.

And make sure you get yours, too.

Summer camp changed my life.  The joy of summer at camp was so profoundly fulfilling it’s difficult to describe. Some of the most lovely memories are linked to living in such close proximity to nature…the sound of the rain on the cabin roof;  the very same lake water that was chilly on a hot day was mysteriously warm in the summer rain; falling asleep to the sound of bullfrogs croaking in the nearby pond, the dark Maine sky so full of millions of stars not visible in city skies… how fortunate I was to have those experiences growing up.

The Fresh Air Fund creates chances for New York inner-city kids to get some summer time in the country, either at camps or as guests in hosts’ homes.  It’s not too late to change a kids’ life this summer, and any donations made before June 30 will be matched 100%.

I’m sending in my donation right now. Will you?  More info

Here’s a short video I shot with a veteran parent….that is what I call one who has raised a teenager or two and lived to tell about it. I asked my favorite question: “If you could do it all again, what would you do differently?” Good food for thought for those of you still raising your teens…

I must confess I never considered myself a “mommy blogger.” But the universe of writers and bloggers seems to want to put me in the mommy-blogger category, and when they put me in the esteemed category of “top ten” I guess I’m not going to quibble. I’m going to say thank you! :>

Ron Calleri told me he reviewed “several hundred” mommy blogs when creating his recent list of the top ten; this is the only blog specifically focused on parenting teenagers. It is an interesting and diverse list of blogs, in some cases offering irreverent, personal stories and reflections, some with a very particular point to push.

Here are several of them:
Momocrats – Raising the Next Generation of Blue

Manic Mommies – tips, review, interviews and more for “moms trying to do it all”

Suburban Turmoil an irreverent look at parenting and step parenting

Rocks in my Dryer

Sustenance for Lesbian Moms

I was scolded yesterday on a blog where I posted a list of guidelines for monitoring your teen. The mom who commented on my post at The Partnership for a Drug Free America’s blog Decoder says

“All of the touchy-feely advice given throughout this website absolutely does not address the needs of parents such as myself with real problem kids.The list implies a level of cooperation from the teenager that they don’t have to give you. My son is purposely secretive about his friends, their names, where they live, where they go and what they do. I seldom get more than a “I’m with a friends” when I call his cell and if he doesn’t want to give me that much he simply doesn’t pick up the phone. When he was in middle school some of the above was within my power but now as an older teenager he has taken away my ability to parent and control his actions. Frankly, i resent these websites because i believe they are as unhelpful as the “just say no” campaign. Everyone including his therapist gives the same advice; i’ve done it all and it hasn’t worked – now what? I’ve just finished cleaning up the mess in his bedroom caused by his first bout of binge drinking until 3:30 AM, i can’t imagine what the next shoe to drop will be.”

Over this past weekend I received an email with the subject line “Teenage boy locked out of his house.” A crisis was occurring in real time, and the writer was trying to figure out if and how to intervene.

Just this morning I received a note from a Mom with two children in rehab who shares:

“Yes, mothering teenagers has been the rollercoaster ride of my life–but without the breathing room the rollercoaster offers between big hills and sharp curves.”

Raising teenagers can be really really hard. And when the teenagers ratchet up the bad behavior, guess what? Parents need to ratchet up the response. The stakes are high. You are not dealing with small issues here, but very possibly life itself. And, for parents, risk is involved. Your kids may not act rationally, they may not respond well to your intervention, no matter how well intentioned. It is vital that you work with a professional. And some professionals will be more suited to your situation than others…so if you are not getting realistic input or advice, find somebody else.

I completely understand why the mom who admonishes the advice on the Partnership for a Drug Free America’s site feels it is irrelevant to her. It is. Her situation is now more serious and requires more serious intervention. I am not going to advise her on what action to take because each situation is unique and different. Blogs and websites are wonderful places to get lots of information…but there is a limit. And when you have teens who are using drugs and binge drinking you need personal and professional assistance.

The reader with two kids in rehab shares some of her story:

I empathize completely with your correspondent’s sense that she is dealing with far more than the usual level of teen trouble, and that the usual responses just don’t work. As it turned out, for instance, my daughter was stealing the family car, driving to houses with older teens/adults, and drinking until she passed out. At one of these “parties” someone burned her with cigarettes. In short, her life was in danger,and it was no longer enough to take her cellphone or ground her. I couldn’t keep her grounded. Instead, I had to arrange an intervention with her therapist and have her admitted the next day to a residential treatment program. (The same happened with my stepson as well, who is in the facility now.) We were lucky, of course, to have insurance that covered much of the cost of their stays, but even then, it has been an expensive–emotionally and psychologically–experience. We reached a point where I had to act on what had once been idle threats. When my teenaged son came home drunk, I called the police. When I recognized that my daughter’s drinking was so extreme, I had her committed to residential treatment. None of these decisions was easy to make, much less to enforce. But I had come to understand that I would lose my children–to serious injury or death–if I did not act. For parents whose children aren’t engaged in this totally over-the-top behavior, it can be impossible to understand or empathize. People tend to think that if only we were better parents–stricter, more involved, more consistent, more something–our children would toe the line. Too often, the reality is that we are dealing with children who have mental illnesses that exacerbate their behaviors. Depression can really manifest itself quite differently in teens than in adults.

If the reality with your teen is looking grim, don’t wait to get help and to take action. Don’t wait for the other shoe to drop.

Here is a link to the helpful resources on the Partnership for a Drug Free America’s website: click here

I’ve been riveted to the story of Emmie’s unwanted pregnancy on Motherlode, as I told you yesterday. As a blogger I’ve been responding to this dynamic drama with fascination because so often I have found the comments from readers on this New York Times blog to be harsh and judgmental. I’ve cringed many times as I have observed that thick skin seems to be a requirement for bloggers….which scares me a bit because that is definitely not one of my strong suits.

But what has unfolded here is entirely different. Emmie’s request for input has opened up a raft of emotions, memories and shared thoughts that are deep, personal and moving. Deciding how to handle an unwanted pregnancy is one of the most difficult decisions a woman will ever make in her life, and Emmie is grateful for the input of strangers. What I’m grateful to see is the respect with which people are sharing their feelings.

Motherlode’s author Lisa Belkin has also noted the tone of this discourse, and it inspired her to write a follow-up post about just that. For those of you who wonder, as I do, about the value of internet discussion between strangers, Lisa and Emmie share why it’s been so helpful to her. For those of you who are trying to figure out why people write and share on the internet, this example has brought out the best in why and how value can be found in interactive web forums.

One of the few who responded negatively about this story said: Ms. Belkin, it was a not a good idea to ask readers to advise people they do not know. In the future, please refer such requests to a local counseling center. That is the proper forum for obtaining such advice.

From Lisa Belkin: I respectfully disagree. I do not think a forum like this should be the ONLY place to get help, but having read all 530-plus posts here, I am struck by the breadth and depth of the advice. Emmie is talking to her family, and her school, and getting wise counsel in person. What a forum like this one can do for her, though, is show her which opinions resonate, and which do not, which posts make her nod in agreement and which make her shake her head. In addition, it is eloquent proof that others have been through the same thing, which she might not be able to hear from her own personal circle.

From Emmie: It’s nice to hear other people’s experiences and ideas, especially when the world feels so incredibly small. The one thing that has helped is to just listen to other people. It doesn’t matter what their advice is, whether or not I would have agreed with them a week ago, I just want to hear other people’s ideas. I’m also really glad that I’m getting advice from complete strangers. I’ve realized that getting advice for your parents or relatives carries a certain weight that doesn’t always feel so helpful.

What do you think about sharing such personal experiences with strangers on the web?

Here’s a personal story from Emmie, who is a single 22 year old who is trying to decide what to do about her unwanted pregnancy. She’s not a teenager anymore, in fact, she is a college graduate soon to go to a prestigious graduate school. She is not with the father of this child any longer, and she has some very difficult choices to make. None of them are particularly attractive.

Emmie wrote to Lisa Belkin at the New York Times’ Motherlode blog (my favorite, as you know) asking for advice. In less than 24 hours she has heard from 555 people. And reading through these responses will give your daughters and sons an intimate view of how excruciating this decision is. Put your political and religious views aside, this is what it really feels like when someone is facing an unwanted pregnancy. This inside view from Emmie, and from the many kind and thoughtful respondents who are sharing their experiences, feels so much more authentic than the usual judgmental rants about this topic.

I hope you’ll use it to open discussion with your teens.